Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Post by MaryAnebi0707 » 13 Jul 2018, 19:56

Back to the roots when man was made
Of moulded clay from mother earth
A breath in the nostrils and up He stands
A mortal being, perfect in stature
From dust He came and to dust He must return

Naked a man comes from His mother's womb
And as He comes, so He departs
He craves for the abundance of the earth
Of wealth, royalty and assets
His days are like a fleeting shadow
It drifts away like the morning dew

Consider the great words of a wise king:
Remember your creator in the days of your youth
Before the days of trouble come
And years approach when you will say
I have no pleasures in them

Before the sun and the light
And the moon and stars grow dark
And the cloud return after the rain
When the keepers of the house tremble
And the strong men stoop
When the grinders cease because they are few
And those looking through the windows grow dim

When the doors to the streets are closed
And the sound of grinding fades
When men rise up at the sound of birds
But all their songs grow faint

When men are afraid of heights
And of dangers in the streets
When the almond tree blossoms
And the grasshopper drags himself along
And desire no longer is stirred

Then man goes to his eternal home
And mourners go about the streets
For this is the lot of man
From dust he came and to dust he will return

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Post by palilogy » 20 Jul 2018, 10:03

I'm not sure anything new is being said in this poem that I haven't read before.
Perhaps consider putting more of yourself or a speaker into the lines.

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Post by Mavovo » 28 Jul 2018, 12:35

the things you learn in adulthood you wish you had known in youth especially the line that says ' Remember your creator in youth before the days of trouble come'
good poem

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Post by SYMBOLADON6LOVE » 30 Jul 2018, 14:59

This poem educate one to be careful how he or she lives his or her life as what goes round comes round. The way you prepared your bed that's how you will lie on it. Devout your time, strength and energy to your creator when you are young so that you will receive your reward at old age

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Post by Abigail R » 31 Jul 2018, 10:52

Life is fleeting. We come from dust and return to dust.
Thank you for your post.

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Post by Floxxy01 » 11 Sep 2018, 20:12

A reminder to reedeem time wisely coz time would come when one would be helpless. I find this Piece interesting but i think you should add rhythm to it..

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