Pacing and style of writing
- gali
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Pacing and style of writing
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- gali
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I totally agree. I liked the style of writing, but like you felt that the book was overburdened with info and could be tightened up some.Janetleighgreen wrote:The storyline is good, the pace is too slow. I found some errors throughout as well, but nothing too serious. I think the style threw me off a little at times, the dialogue felt choppy. I feel, not being from that area myself, I may not know the speech is indigenous to the area? I don't know, it just felt funny to me. I think that given this is a series, a lot of stuff could have been carried over to make this book shorter. It felt as if the author was trying to get everything out in this first book. Overall, I did like the story and will more than likely read on if the series progresses.
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- gali
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The storyline starts to move forward after the second half of the book.Amcdanel86 wrote:I find the storyline good but finding it slow to read.
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I haven't gotten that far yetgali wrote:The storyline starts to move forward after the second half of the book.Amcdanel86 wrote:I find the storyline good but finding it slow to read.
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Hello! I am so happy you are on here talking with us!Seamusberen1955 wrote:Seamusberen the author or ROAN here. For those who found it slow could you give me some feedback and tell me why. About the language used, yeah, it is indigenous to southwest Wisconsin. I grew up there and people from everywhere else constantly laugh at the funny way I talk.
I think the biggest issue for me was the wealth of information that slowed the pace. This is an amazing story and the characters are good; but I got bogged down in the details. Trust me, as an author myself I understand the need to create a sense of feeling and atmosphere, and you are brilliant at doing that. I have the opposite problem; there isn't enough in my book, and I am working diligently to fix that. Too much telling and not enough showing. Your book has helped me tremendously, so thank you!
It's not about me this month, so back to you; I would say to take some of the repetitive information out and that will help tighten it up.
You have the story, you have great characters, just pull out some of the fluff and think in terms of series and not saga. You can keep the story going with a series without putting everything in one book.
I hope this helps. I know how hard it is to hear some of this stuff. My comments are from a place of support. You are a great writer.
- gali
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Thank you for commenting.
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I mentioned in the thread about the beginning that the pace felt very uneven. As the story is taking hold I feel the pace has evened out appropriately. Parts of the story still feel slow but appropriately so.
Now that the author has joined our discussion and is giving some insight to the inspiration, I'm starting to wonder how the book would work as a serial with a few chapter released at a time. It certainly would help with the repeated information. I came across an author a few months ago who offered her romance novels in a subscription service (I can't remember her name and don't know if I've saved her book at all). Each week she released a few chapters then a few months after the book was finished she released everything in an ebook (which is how I found her originally).
I am having a bit of a problem with dialogue, it's too pretty. It feels like the teenagers weren't written with a teenaged voice (and it is super hard to write for someone who sits outside of your own demographic). So far it feels like Beth and Jace are too "perfect." There's no petty teenaged conflict or worrying about homework/college/parental pressure. Teenager #1 is needed and steps in and out of Conner's day like he's changing shoes.
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