People treat you how you treat them?

Discuss the December 2015 book of the month Burn Zones by Jorge P. Newbery.
User avatar
Scott
Site Admin
Posts: 3389
Joined: 31 Jul 2006, 23:00
2019 Reading Goal: 52
2019 Reading Goal Completion: 19
2018 Reading Goal: 52
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 7
2017 Reading Goal: 36
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 25
Favorite Author: Voltairine de Cleyre
Currently Reading: The Unbound Soul
Bookshelf Size: 280
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-scott.html
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU
Publishing Contest Votes: 960
fav_author_id: 2660

People treat you how you treat them?

Post by Scott » 27 Dec 2015, 17:47

One theme I enjoy from the December book of the month, Burn Zones, is the idea that people will treat you how you treat them.

Jorge P. Newbery says as much a few times in Burn Zones. It is also demonstrated by the punk rockers in his parents house and for me most notably by the tough Ricky who helped Jorge retrieve his spilled coins.

Do you find this is also true in your experience? I do.

In fact, it seems to me the people who get treated poorly due to stereotypes and prejudice tend to respond kindly to respectful treatment even more than more up-tight people. I suppose they are so used to being treated poorly that even a moderate amount of respect and kindness goes a long way for them and is much appreciated.

I use to be a waiter and bartender for years. Unfortunately, servers tend to be very prejudiced, thinking certain types of people don't tip as well or give more trouble to the server. However, I think a lot of these prejudices are really self-fulfilling: If you treat the customer worse because you don't expect a good tip or are annoyed to have to take care of that kind of customer, is it any surprise that then the customer is not as nice as the customers you treat better? I'd say most of my best customers and best tips were from people who would be stereotyped as not being the best customers, and I think that's because they appreciated the good service that they rarely get. People who are used to getting the world handed to them on a silver platter probably won't appreciate it as much. What do you think?

---
View Burn Zones on Amazon | View Burn Zones on Bookshelves
"That virtue we appreciate is as much ours as another's. We see so much only as we possess." - Henry David Thoreau

"Non ignara mali miseris succurrere disco." Virgil, The Aeneid

User avatar
joanofarc2015
Posts: 91
Joined: 24 Sep 2015, 02:11
2017 Reading Goal: 12
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 25
Favorite Author: J.K Rowling
Currently Reading: War and Peace
Bookshelf Size: 30
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-joanofarc2015.html
Latest Review: "Philia and Sophia : The book of love and wisdom" by nikitha hingad

Post by joanofarc2015 » 27 Dec 2015, 20:20

when i first read the topic, i thought of Confucius XD nowadays, i do see people treat others based on prejudice/ stereotypes. i think a lot of that roots from the media
TV and (yes even books) have underling implications that state "its normal and ok to judge others so treat them this way and that way"
so promotion of making judgement an equal judgement is great and how an author (of TV scripts, books, etc) highlights that should help make the world better place ;) (bow)
Latest Review: "Philia and Sophia : The book of love and wisdom" by nikitha hingad

User avatar
literaturelover
Posts: 60
Joined: 07 Oct 2015, 22:42
Favorite Author: Jane Austen
Currently Reading: Chances
Bookshelf Size: 146
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-literaturelover.html
Latest Review: "Red Romeo" by Peter Bernhardt
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG
fav_author_id: 2379

Post by literaturelover » 27 Dec 2015, 21:08

I do find this to be true and I practice it everyday. Of course it doesn't always work, some people are dill holes no matter how nice you are to them, but overall I've found that the world is a reciprocal place. I was a cashier at a grocery store throughout high school and college and I always had a smile on my face and a kind word for everyone who went through my line. It paid itself forward eventually and the crappy customers eventually started treating me and my fellow cashiers with respect. The world needs a little more of this philosophy applied in everyday life, which probably means you probably read Burn Zones ;)
"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
Jane Austen
Latest Review: "Red Romeo" by Peter Bernhardt

User avatar
gali
Site Admin
Posts: 40230
Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:12
2019 Reading Goal: 100
2019 Reading Goal Completion: 76
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 100
2017 Reading Goal: 100
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 100
Favorite Author: Agatha Christie
Currently Reading: The Cat Who Blew the Whistle
Bookshelf Size: 1957
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-gali.html
Reading Device: B00I15SB16
fav_author_id: 2484

Post by gali » 28 Dec 2015, 00:19

I agree. I always treat people with respect and politeness, and it works in most cases.
In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you." (Mortimer J. Adler)

User avatar
Unsa Malik
Posts: 7
Joined: 31 Dec 2015, 01:26
Bookshelf Size: 0
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-unsa-malik.html

Post by Unsa Malik » 31 Dec 2015, 01:42

I still believe if you treat someone with love respect and care even the most arrogant people do melt . Because no hate lasts long enough to endure the purity of love .

Morgan_Malone
Posts: 120
Joined: 23 Sep 2015, 02:17
2017 Reading Goal: 75
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 0
Currently Reading: Queen of Shadows
Bookshelf Size: 18
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-morgan-malone.html
Latest Review: "Heartbound" by P.I. Alltraine

Post by Morgan_Malone » 01 Jan 2016, 07:55

In general I think that if you treat people with kindness and respect you will get the same in return. However, I don't think this is always the case. I think there are people that we encounter that no matter how nice you are to them they won't treat you with the same kindness.
Latest Review: "Heartbound" by P.I. Alltraine

User avatar
hsimone
Lilimaster of Bookshelves
Posts: 5869
Joined: 17 Jul 2015, 20:19
2019 Reading Goal: 52
2019 Reading Goal Completion: 36
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 100
2017 Reading Goal: 100
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 100
Currently Reading: Before the Devil Breaks You
Bookshelf Size: 445
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-hsimone.html
Latest Review: Solar Coaster by Yi Ou
Publishing Contest Votes: 27

Post by hsimone » 05 Jan 2016, 07:38

I find this is absolutely true. I, like others here, apply this every day - treat others the way you would like to be treated. I personally like to be treated with respect, so I show respect.

I used to work as a cashier in different stores/pharmacies during high school and college, and I found that I rarely had any issues with customers. If there ever was an issue and they wanted to speak with a manager, it was almost never about how I treated them, it was mostly about the product. If there was a customer who found something to complain about me, my manager would always back me up, knowing that these customers' words only go so far. I believe these customers would be those uptight people you were referencing, Scott :wink:
"Love is patient, love is kind." -1 Corinthians 13:4
Latest Review: Solar Coaster by Yi Ou

eunice2868
Posts: 23
Joined: 06 Jan 2016, 01:23
Bookshelf Size: 9
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-eunice2868.html

Post by eunice2868 » 10 Jan 2016, 11:19

Wherever possible I will try to treat others nice. (Hoping that in return others will treat me nice. :)) :wink:

I agree absolutely with Zig Ziglar -

"Life is an echo. What you send out comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you." :greetings-wavingyellow:

User avatar
hsimone
Lilimaster of Bookshelves
Posts: 5869
Joined: 17 Jul 2015, 20:19
2019 Reading Goal: 52
2019 Reading Goal Completion: 36
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 100
2017 Reading Goal: 100
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 100
Currently Reading: Before the Devil Breaks You
Bookshelf Size: 445
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-hsimone.html
Latest Review: Solar Coaster by Yi Ou
Publishing Contest Votes: 27

Post by hsimone » 10 Jan 2016, 13:33

Couldn't have put it better myself! :clap:
"Love is patient, love is kind." -1 Corinthians 13:4
Latest Review: Solar Coaster by Yi Ou

User avatar
psyche
Posts: 29
Joined: 22 Feb 2013, 13:18
Currently Reading: Void Contract
Bookshelf Size: 11
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-psyche.html
Latest Review: "NovoPulp Anthology - Volume 2" by Niamh Brown, B. Morris Allen, M. J. Kobernus, David Grigg, Kimberly Unger, Daniela Huguet, Russ Bick

Post by psyche » 13 Jan 2016, 14:22

I think you have to at least give people the chance to interact on the basis of kindness and respect. Even if it doesn't work out, you know you tried.
Latest Review: "NovoPulp Anthology - Volume 2" by Niamh Brown, B. Morris Allen, M. J. Kobernus, David Grigg, Kimberly Unger, Daniela Huguet, Russ Bick

User avatar
stoppoppingtheP
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 898
Joined: 14 May 2014, 09:59
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 25
2017 Reading Goal: 50
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 30
Favorite Author: Adriana Trigiani
Favorite Book: The Hand of Fatima
Currently Reading: High Low In-Between
Bookshelf Size: 162
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-stoppoppingthep.html
Latest Review: Sigfried’s Smelly Socks! by Len Foley
fav_author_id: 8071

Post by stoppoppingtheP » 14 Jan 2016, 11:38

In general treating people respectfully and kindly will result in you being treated the same way. However, there are some people who think that in order to get anywhere in life you need to put yourself first, even if it means trampling on others to get there.

“there have been so many times
i have seen a man wanting to weep
but
instead
beat his heart until it was unconscious.

-masculine”


― Nayyirah Waheed

User avatar
CzechTigg
Posts: 257
Joined: 28 Sep 2015, 13:48
2017 Reading Goal: 30
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 0
Currently Reading: Free Fish Friday
Bookshelf Size: 35
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-czechtigg.html
Latest Review: "Finding the Phoenix" by Caitlin O'Connor

Post by CzechTigg » 14 Jan 2016, 14:08

It's a funny one really. Some people seem suspicious of open warmth, and prefer formality. Often I know only with hindsight. I try to be decent most of the time but can be irritable, so may seem like I don't follow this mantra. But we are only human. I always give someone a second chance, unless they are clearly bad news.
Latest Review: "Finding the Phoenix" by Caitlin O'Connor

User avatar
charysma_lilly
Posts: 91
Joined: 02 Jan 2014, 14:40
2017 Reading Goal: 40
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 0
Favorite Author: too many....
Currently Reading: Before I Fall
Bookshelf Size: 20
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-charysma-lilly.html

Post by charysma_lilly » 15 Jan 2016, 15:09

Showing kindness and being polite with others is a sign of respect towards one's person. Some don't even care about that... I try to keep a smile on my face most of the time. The theme is quite present in the book and it makes a good addition to other intresting aspects.

L_Therese
Posts: 587
Joined: 25 Sep 2013, 05:21
2018 Reading Goal: 50
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 32
2017 Reading Goal: 100
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 40
Currently Reading: American Psycho
Bookshelf Size: 1971
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-l-therese.html
Latest Review: The Middle Ages by Jane Chance

Post by L_Therese » 15 Jan 2016, 18:03

In my experience, treating someone with the same courtesy that you would like to receive doesn't always garner the desired result, but treating someone poorly will nearly always provoke a response in kind. It seems a far better idea to err on the side of kindness and respect in the hopes of reciprocation.

tracy19
Posts: 148
Joined: 18 Sep 2013, 04:03
Bookshelf Size: 19
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-tracy19.html
Latest Review: "The Secret Book of Designs" by Catamount Mayhugh

Post by tracy19 » 17 Jan 2016, 07:18

I totally agree with that sentiment. As the saying goes "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Latest Review: "The Secret Book of Designs" by Catamount Mayhugh

Post Reply

Return to “"Burn Zones" by Jorge P. Newbery”