People treat you how you treat them?

Discuss the December 2015 book of the month Burn Zones by Jorge P. Newbery.
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Amanda Deck
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Re: People treat you how you treat them?

Post by Amanda Deck »

It doesn't happen consistently enough to consider it true, I don't think. The way I generally look at things is that I treat people the way I do because that's who and how I am. It doesn't really matter how they behave though I avoid people who are generally rude, of course. Many people have told me they won't tell the truth to certain people, or be polite or respectful because "they don't deserve it." I always ask them why they let those they dislike determine how they behave themselves. It makes no sense to me - you act out of who YOU are, not merely in reaction to others.

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Amanda Deck
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Post by Amanda Deck »

It could work if there were only a few people constantly interacting. We don't know how many other people someone has interacted with that influences their behavior. Or what they're going through that day or in their life in general.

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Post by Kishor Rao »

Yes. Expecting very little while constantly doing good deeds might possibly be very difficult to inculcate and bring it into practice, but it is the most rewarding. People always are watching you and will give you exactly what you deserve based on how you treat them.

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Post by HeatherEi »

I completely agree with Newbery. I have worked in customer service for a long time. If you treat a person kindly, even when they are giving off a rude or bad vibe, it seems that more often than not, their demeanor changes for the better.

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Post by readerrihana »

I agree, and I was considering this idea the other day after seeing some people who say they feel lonely and bored. Yet I realised that they are lonely because they are not treating other people well, and so have made themselves alone and lonely.

I have also noticed that doing good to others and being kind brings it back to us, even if not directly from the same person

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Post by MrunalT »

I do agree that people treat you the way you treat them. I have gotten better with most people who share difficult relationships with other people. I think the only reason is that I keep my prejudices aside and continue to treat everyone equally,with all respect they deserve.

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Post by Bookreviwer2020 »

Yes I really have noticed that. Some people when they have been feeling disrespected are so happy for the slightest kindness shown to them. It seems more of a pleasure to them kindnesses, rather than people who do not recognise them

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Post by Carolreads30 »

I don't believe that all people treat others as they expect to be treated. We have become a society of entitled people that feel as though the world and others owe us something. I have not read this book, but it sounds as though there is a lesson in it that some could learn from.

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Post by damis »

Scott wrote:
27 Dec 2015, 17:47
One theme I enjoy from the December book of the month, Burn Zones, is the idea that people will treat you how you treat them.

Jorge P. Newbery says as much a few times in Burn Zones. It is also demonstrated by the punk rockers in his parents house and for me most notably by the tough Ricky who helped Jorge retrieve his spilled coins.

Do you find this is also true in your experience? I do.

In fact, it seems to me the people who get treated poorly due to stereotypes and prejudice tend to respond kindly to respectful treatment even more than more up-tight people. I suppose they are so used to being treated poorly that even a moderate amount of respect and kindness goes a long way for them and is much appreciated.

I use to be a waiter and bartender for years. Unfortunately, servers tend to be very prejudiced, thinking certain types of people don't tip as well or give more trouble to the server. However, I think a lot of these prejudices are really self-fulfilling: If you treat the customer worse because you don't expect a good tip or are annoyed to have to take care of that kind of customer, is it any surprise that then the customer is not as nice as the customers you treat better? I'd say most of my best customers and best tips were from people who would be stereotyped as not being the best customers, and I think that's because they appreciated the good service that they rarely get. People who are used to getting the world handed to them on a silver platter probably won't appreciate it as much. What do you think?

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Treating others well so they treat you well would be ideal, but let's face it. That's not how the world works. You can't live expecting others to return the kindness and compassion you've offered to them, first of all, because if you did then how sincere would your actions be? if your motivation to treat others kindly is just receiving something in return then... are you really kind? Not to mention that on average, people tend to get a hold of the things you do for them and turn an act of kindness into an obligation. And there's the other side too, if someone treats me poorly, does that give me the right to be a bad person? Not really. If someone hits me, does that give me the right to return the punch? Consider that most of the times, such actions are returned not to the person that harmed us, but to innocent people.

That being said, I believe that the reason why you should treat others well, as a human being, shouldn't be to expect that same treatment to be returned. Instead, i think we all should treat others with respect and kindness, just because of the inherent worth of a human being. Besides, it is harder to be disappointed if you don't expect anything in first place. Just because that's how integrity works.

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Post by sam-4jesus+ »

It's just a normal way of life that you get treated the way you do to others. But just that someone does something bad to you does not mean that you should do the same but rather correct their actions for the sake of removing evil from our generation.

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Post by DEEPA PUJARI »

I am not a prejudiced person at all. Also, I tend to forget pretty soon. So if someone is mean to mean I won't remember that I should be mean to them :). However, I have seen that many people talk nicely to you only if you are polite to them. My behavior usually depends on my mood and has nothing to do with the person I am talking to.

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Post by WardahEbrahim »

Definitely true. And it's not necessarily done purposefully. But I would also rather say, people are a product of how the have been treated - consider Black Beauty. Each character had a specific attitude and belief system that was formed based on the way other characters had treated them.

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Post by Yj_Besoy »

Generally that statement is true, however, there are always exceptions to that statement. Not all people have thesame mindset and principle.

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Post by Bookreviwer2020 »

I agree...I often find the more you expect good from people, and the better you treat them, the.more they respect and honour you and treat you in.a similar way

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Post by Bookreviwer2020 »

I agree...I often find the more you expect good from people, and the better you treat them, the.more they respect and honour you and treat you in.a similar way

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