Love Sonnet 107

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Love Sonnet 107

Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 28 Jun 2018, 23:00

A semblance to your aspect, I detect
Among the lovely things which strayed my way,
As such similitude I oft expect
To brighten up my very gloomy day;
As though the gleams which must presage the dawn,
Or scent that wafts downwind from where you are,
They hint of you, to come, my doubts withdrawn,
Such signs would augur more than any star;
So come in flesh, much more than spirit mist,
With form to touch, and loving arms to hold,
To change the dreams of which my years consist,
Which caused me all the emptiness untold;
.......To delineate the times most lovers miss,
.......A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 04 Sep 2019, 08:09

Upon review, the first stanza should read:

A semblance to your aspect, I detect
Among the lovely things which strayed my way,
As such similitude I oft expect
Would brighten up my very gloomy day;

"To" is better changed to "Would"

Thanks
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

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nicole-adrianne
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Post by nicole-adrianne » 13 Oct 2019, 21:30

Beautiful capture of pining for a specific love. Also, I'm a sucker for iambic pentameter. Lovely!
* * *
One feels like a duck, splashing around in all this wet. And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 13 Oct 2019, 22:21

nicole-adrianne wrote:
13 Oct 2019, 21:30
Beautiful capture of pining for a specific love. Also, I'm a sucker for iambic pentameter. Lovely!
Oh, that's too bad. Shakespeare has long been dead. You have to only make do with what is available, the not so perfect iambic pentameter.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

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Nisha Ward
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Post by Nisha Ward » 14 Oct 2019, 09:31

I really liked the flow of this. There's pining but also a warmth to it, like a kind of...I can't pin it down just right and I may be completely wrong but it sounds more like missing a current lover than pining for a love that never happened? I don't know. It's really very sweet.
"...while a book has got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the reader it's got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the writer as well." - Terry Pratchett on The Last Continent and his writing.

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 14 Oct 2019, 15:45

Nisha Ward wrote:
14 Oct 2019, 09:31
I really liked the flow of this. There's pining but also a warmth to it, like a kind of...I can't pin it down just right and I may be completely wrong but it sounds more like missing a current lover than pining for a love that never happened? I don't know. It's really very sweet.
Thanks. That means so much to me. That's how poetry is supposed to be. One poet says, "Poetry hides what it seeks, like a bride."
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

timur777
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Post by timur777 » 24 Dec 2019, 22:41

Wow. So romantic. So skillfully written. Such a great rhymes. So wonderfully delivered. thank you

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 25 Dec 2019, 01:45

timur777 wrote:
24 Dec 2019, 22:41
Wow. So romantic. So skillfully written. Such a great rhymes. So wonderfully delivered. thank you
Thanks. I'm just delighted to find poetic people who still love rhymed poems.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

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