Midnight Thoughts

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Birthright06
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Midnight Thoughts

Post by Birthright06 »

MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS

Does your mind ever flew thru the night?
When people are asleep, and the crows are on flight,
Do you ever dream of basking, on the glory of sunlight?
Or you close your eyes at the presence of light?

Does your mind ever flew thru the night?
When the noisy ones are silent, and the silence feels right,
Does your lips ever wondered, what you desired taste like?
Or you prefer the blandness, with your mouth sealed tight?

Does your mind ever flew thru the night?
When the songs of birds, ringing the spotlight,
Do you ever missed the tunes they sang, yesternight?
For you're tuned on the noise that it falls on hindsight?

Would you mind dreaming, with me thru the night?
Lay by my side, under the lamplight?
Let's be brave for once, for there's nothing to fight.
Not when you're dreaming as your mind flew thru the night.
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John Owen
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Post by John Owen »

This is a nice piece, though I am not sure to view the twist from grammar as errors or poetic license. The last stansa was almost like a wonderful twist... "would you mind dreaming with me through the night" seems romantic though the previous stansas doesn't look anything like romance. I also appreciate the rhetorical question as they make the piece more thought-provoking.
Harmony in chaos. It's all a matter of perspective.
Birthright06
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Post by Birthright06 »

Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it. English is not my native language but I know it's not an excuse for grammatical errors. I'm still working on it the best that I can. Thanks again.
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Astral Magi
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Post by Astral Magi »

Lovely, but did you mean fly through or flow through?
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