You're all I see

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
Post Reply
User avatar
Mys_Trea
Posts: 282
Joined: 31 Aug 2015, 15:19
Currently Reading: Seconds to Live
Bookshelf Size: 47
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mys-trea.html
Latest Review: The Attuned by Gary B. Haley
Reading Device: B004DLPXAO

You're all I see

Post by Mys_Trea »

As you approach, my heart speeds
As if to explode in the silence that smothers us
Staring at those hazel eyes which reflect right back to me
"What was God thinking?" I think with
those eyes blinking
Leaving the memory lingering in my mind like a wet dream

You're all I see

Even in the darkness, you bring light
Breathing life into my breathless existence,
Weaving time into nothing but your presence and leading lines to rhyme in an essence that is only you
Oh, and
You asked me to write you a poem
Like Da Vinci's name upon his art
Like an artist's claim unto his masterpiece
Not knowing that I did this piece for you
Cause you are truly
All I see
"She remembered who she was.
And then the game changed."
User avatar
bush reads
Posts: 35
Joined: 03 Apr 2019, 06:05
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 13
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bush-reads.html
Latest Review: The Poison Profession by Rachel Wright

Post by bush reads »

This is so heartfelt!
User avatar
Mys_Trea
Posts: 282
Joined: 31 Aug 2015, 15:19
Currently Reading: Seconds to Live
Bookshelf Size: 47
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mys-trea.html
Latest Review: The Attuned by Gary B. Haley
Reading Device: B004DLPXAO

Post by Mys_Trea »

:hand: :techie-studyingbrown:
bush reads wrote: 15 Sep 2020, 10:47 This is so heartfelt!
Thanks for stopping by and leaving the comment!
"She remembered who she was.
And then the game changed."
User avatar
Robert Potter
Posts: 49
Joined: 23 Jul 2020, 15:35
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 92
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-robert-potter.html
Latest Review: Stir of Embers by Christopher Javier Bustamante

Post by Robert Potter »

Wonderful poem. I'm curious about who its about. I'm sure it could be anyone. Anyway, keep writing!
:tiphat:

Where you can also find me: https://robertthewriter.substack.com
User avatar
Mys_Trea
Posts: 282
Joined: 31 Aug 2015, 15:19
Currently Reading: Seconds to Live
Bookshelf Size: 47
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mys-trea.html
Latest Review: The Attuned by Gary B. Haley
Reading Device: B004DLPXAO

Post by Mys_Trea »

Robert Potter wrote: 16 Sep 2020, 11:14 Wonderful poem. I'm curious about who its about. I'm sure it could be anyone. Anyway, keep writing!
Thank you for the lovely feedback! I suppose we all feel that way about someone at some point in our lives, so this poem is for all the secret crushes out there. :)
"She remembered who she was.
And then the game changed."
User avatar
Robert Potter
Posts: 49
Joined: 23 Jul 2020, 15:35
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 92
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-robert-potter.html
Latest Review: Stir of Embers by Christopher Javier Bustamante

Post by Robert Potter »

Mys_Trea wrote: 16 Sep 2020, 12:54
Robert Potter wrote: 16 Sep 2020, 11:14 Wonderful poem. I'm curious about who its about. I'm sure it could be anyone. Anyway, keep writing!
Thank you for the lovely feedback! I suppose we all feel that way about someone at some point in our lives, so this poem is for all the secret crushes out there. :)
Haha fair enough. I agree. Everyone has their someone.
:tiphat:

Where you can also find me: https://robertthewriter.substack.com
User avatar
Avishi
Posts: 445
Joined: 15 Sep 2021, 01:07
Currently Reading: all body bags and no knickers
Bookshelf Size: 108
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-avishi.html
Latest Review: Wisdom by Arun mago
Reading Device: Pdf

Post by Avishi »

Wonderful lines. So lovely to read. It seems like a proposal to someone.
Latest Review: Wisdom by Arun mago
User avatar
Mys_Trea
Posts: 282
Joined: 31 Aug 2015, 15:19
Currently Reading: Seconds to Live
Bookshelf Size: 47
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mys-trea.html
Latest Review: The Attuned by Gary B. Haley
Reading Device: B004DLPXAO

Post by Mys_Trea »

Avi Shi wrote: 26 Jan 2022, 03:03 Wonderful lines. So lovely to read. It seems like a proposal to someone.
Thanks so much for reading and appreciating. 😊
Kgomotso Maje
Posts: 53
Joined: 02 Jan 2022, 10:58
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 2
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kgomotso-maje.html
Latest Review: Always Before Me by John Servant

Post by Kgomotso Maje »

It's beautiful! Made me feel light and warm inside.
User avatar
Mys_Trea
Posts: 282
Joined: 31 Aug 2015, 15:19
Currently Reading: Seconds to Live
Bookshelf Size: 47
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mys-trea.html
Latest Review: The Attuned by Gary B. Haley
Reading Device: B004DLPXAO

Post by Mys_Trea »

Kgomotso Maje wrote: 07 Feb 2022, 06:17 It's beautiful! Made me feel light and warm inside.
What a lovely compliment. Thanks for the feedback, glad you enjoyed it.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Poetry”