Love Sonnet 230

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Love Sonnet 230

Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 20 Aug 2019, 19:16

Love goes where expectation might not grant,
And lays, to surprise the unwary heart,
And yet, despite the wishes it may want,
It strives that to the rumpus be a part;

As love aspires of feats and tasks so great,
Build palaces and gardens in the sky,
Which may entail dire tragedies and deaths,
Or cause failures, or just cause one to cry;

Though fools may seem those that of love profess,
And wise the recluse when of love bereft,
But this world turns with heartbeats more or less,
While love dwells fast, or after it had left;

...It seemed that all around love things revolved,
...Though I knew not how my heart got involved.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

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Ben Moore
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Post by Ben Moore » 22 Aug 2019, 10:52

Very nice! It was good to read a sonnet as you don’t get a whole lot of people writing them these days. I thought the tone of the writing matched the form perfectly and both are brilliant suited to the theme of love 😀

The only line I didn’t understand was ‘It strives that to the rumpus be a part’ as it doesn’t seem to make sense to me. That may just be a fault in my understanding though!

I loved the last line. It’s dramatic without being melodramatic. The perfect balance 👌🏻

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 22 Aug 2019, 23:06

Ben Moore wrote:
22 Aug 2019, 10:52
Very nice! It was good to read a sonnet as you don’t get a whole lot of people writing them these days. I thought the tone of the writing matched the form perfectly and both are brilliant suited to the theme of love 😀

The only line I didn’t understand was ‘It strives that to the rumpus be a part’ as it doesn’t seem to make sense to me. That may just be a fault in my understanding though!

I loved the last line. It’s dramatic without being melodramatic. The perfect balance 👌🏻
Thanks for connecting.

About that " rumpus" part, I was thinking that love could generate some feelings of uneasiness to the one concerned -- even to the object of the affection, not only to the one who feels it. And I call it " rumpus" for want of a better word. But I guess it also depends on how a reader would understand it. Communication demands that the sender and the receiver interpret a signal similarly in order for it to be effective. I'm still working on that aspect.

Thanks.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

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nicole-adrianne
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Post by nicole-adrianne » 15 Oct 2019, 21:11

Ben Moore wrote:
22 Aug 2019, 10:52
Very nice! It was good to read a sonnet as you don’t get a whole lot of people writing them these days. I thought the tone of the writing matched the form perfectly and both are brilliant suited to the theme of love 😀

The only line I didn’t understand was ‘It strives that to the rumpus be a part’ as it doesn’t seem to make sense to me. That may just be a fault in my understanding though!

I loved the last line. It’s dramatic without being melodramatic. The perfect balance 👌🏻
For me, "rumpus" similarly gave pause and seemed out of place with the diction of the rest of the piece. It sounds like a grumpy old British man :D love your work though
* * *
One feels like a duck, splashing around in all this wet. And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
Posts: 1650
Joined: 28 Sep 2017, 07:38
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2017 Reading Goal Completion: 12
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Currently Reading: The Waning of the West: An Inconvenient Truism
Bookshelf Size: 228
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Latest Review: Last Words from Above by Jeremy Brown
Reading Device: 1400697484

Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 16 Oct 2019, 08:36

nicole-adrianne wrote:
15 Oct 2019, 21:11
Ben Moore wrote:
22 Aug 2019, 10:52
Very nice! It was good to read a sonnet as you don’t get a whole lot of people writing them these days. I thought the tone of the writing matched the form perfectly and both are brilliant suited to the theme of love 😀

The only line I didn’t understand was ‘It strives that to the rumpus be a part’ as it doesn’t seem to make sense to me. That may just be a fault in my understanding though!

I loved the last line. It’s dramatic without being melodramatic. The perfect balance 👌🏻
For me, "rumpus" similarly gave pause and seemed out of place with the diction of the rest of the piece. It sounds like a grumpy old British man :D love your work though
Thanks for the comments. I needed any and all comments I could get. The line ‘It strives that to the rumpus be a part’ is not in iambic pentameter? Or not sounding like one, or is not of the right sentiment. I will post a revision once I've thought of one. Thanks again.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.

-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)

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