Rejected

[brookee21]

i am one who Regrets to inform you of a childhood spent behind locked doors, with my face buried into the books who became my dearest friends for fear of venturing into the landscape of the unknown.
i was Expelled from others, not by them, but through me
i could not Justify my existence to myself, prove that I had any identity or any meaning to carry, believing myself to be devoid of an offering anyone would deem worthy to accept
i sought to find Exceptions to the rule through the ones i had first shut out -- my family, but i was invisible and they could not find me in the light of day
but, when i had Crept forward to the age of adolescence, i found some who were willing to try to see me, even when i kept much of myself away and they had to squint to gain an image.
with the knowledge of those who had shown me a love well-defined, I Travelled into the rest of the world, facing both acceptance and...well
i hid from the term i had used to define myself, even before the rest of the world could decide and tried to Exist away from it
but, one day the Definition halted me and spat in my face, unwilling to be ignored and forsaken. It was here. It had been here all this time.
Rejected.
a word that had always been there, ready to Acquiesce to a crumbling foundation
until that day where i Caught it, fished it from the pool inside of me, and stared into the dead of its eyes wondering why I had let the slippery thing have so much power over the entirety of the depths inside
i looked at it and Called it by its name.
i had been Evasive, not it and when I had finally looked it in the eye and acknowledged it for what it was could look forward to the possibility of a new term.
so, i turned myself around, held onto it and claimed it as a Perspective into who I am, grabbing it tightly and carrying it with me.
i Talked to it and it talked back, sharing new stories with me until i could laugh behind the tears and finally grieve what i had lost.
i Even began to love this part of me, to...well
Stop all Denial of who i was, so i could glance forward to who I could be, another definition to come from me