The Longest Aisle

[Hugo Marek]

The Longest Aisle

As often happens,
I was at the grocery store to
Pick up one
Thing and soon had so many
Things that I couldn’t pick up the one
Thing that I came for,
So I needed a basket, and
I headed to the front of the store where
Shopping baskets are always located, near
The Shoplifter’s Deadline,
Which is where
If you step over it
With an item not yet paid for,
An alarm goes off and the
Store Greeter or
Store Creeper
Accosts you, and, well,
I was nearing the basket stack, and not
Coincidentally,
Simultaneously,
Obviously,
Approaching
The Deadline,
With aforementioned items,
In hand, but,
Obviously,
Not yet paid for,
When I got this sharp feeling of
Dread
That someone,
Maybe at a window in an upper office,
Maybe behind the counter at customer service,
Maybe inside a cardboard kiosk of seasonal items,
Had me in their sights,
Tracking me
From a distance, and,
Maybe I only imagined it,
They were yelling,
“Crewe!”,
“Crewe!”.

[Nisha Ward]

Your approach was great and I laughed, though I'm not sure I was supposed to?

Either way, I enjoyed this one.

[Hugo Marek]

Check out the final scene to The Longest Yard, 1974.

[Billy Bookmark]

Felt the same way in Walmart. Very funny

[Tobewankenobe]

I work at a Dollar General which made this all the more hilarious.