Broken Violin

[Mercy100Million]

Oh what a sorrowful song!
That your music be stripped from you,
That your beauty be reduced to mere ashes,
That your dreams be taken away,
Oh my heart can bear it no further,
You pitiful creature full of regret,
That I could look at you without becoming sad,
Oh Violin!
That you would once again have four strings!
That I could play you once more!
Oh pitiful Violin with your two stings,
That you could be whole,
That is my desire.

[Fox_4]

Wonderfully written. A moving poem from the emptiness of being incomplete.

[Kelsey Fulton]

Lovely! I love the slight personification of the violin and think this could be developed a bit more. I agree with Fox_4 that is touches on "the emptiness of being incomplete." Though the poem is very concrete, it also harkens on the abstract in the deeper meaning. If you are going for straightforwardness and certainty, you nailed it. If you want to be a bit more abstract and open up the poem to wider interpretation, perhaps consider changing the title to reflect this. "Broken Violin" sums up the poem very well, but I do think you can widen it a little. Just a suggestion. Thanks for sharing!

[Artizi]

Lovely poem! Congratulations. I think it's beautiful and well written.

Thank you for sharing!

[beccabecky]

Congratulations! I think people should try and write a bit each day and get their creativity flowing! This is a lovely poem!

[Tobewankenobe]

I love the imagery in this one.