A pig

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Angela Peanutbutter
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A pig

Post by Angela Peanutbutter »

Once there was a pig who lived in a church. She was often visited by a lot of kids for she looks very cute and friendly. She also have a whole village of animal friends. Every sunday after the mass she goes out by the back door to unwind. One day, she saw a blue balloon trapped on the trees. Then she heard a weeping voice just near the tree. "My balloon....huhuhu....my balloon" the child uttered. The pig out of curiousness and concern walked towards the person and there she saw a child. She looked into his face, and as soon as the child saw her he smiled. "What are you doing here piggy? Are you lost? Are you also crying?" The pig liked how the child caress her head and she doesn't wanna let go. "You see pig, I like you too but I can't bring you home. My father is going to get extremely mad at me. I have spent my money for that balloon because I liked it, though it flew I still have found you and you are way better than that balloon it's just that I can't bring you home with me" the pig went sad as the child turn his back at her and walk. After that day, the pig had a routine of checking on him on every mass and everywhere that area everyday. Not long after that day the balloon that was trapped on the tree finally exploded, so the pig felt a weaker chance of seeing the child again. One night, there came a storm and the pig hasn't been able to go outside for days. She was thinking that she might have missed her chances of seeing the child, so when she was finally able to go out, she immediately ran to that spot where she saw the child and she was flabbergasted seeing a blue balloon on the same tree. She looked and looked around and just before going back to the church she saw the balloon in front of her being given by a tall animal with a long neck. "Is this why you look sad?" Said the giraffe "ahmmm...partly. W-what does an animal like you doing here?" Pig. "I came by the storm. I am lost" giraffe. The pig and the giraffe became good friends. The pig always made the giraffe laugh because as they've been knowing each other, she discovered that the giraffe thinks differently about life. She wanted to be with her, she follows her around, she didn't think about what she wanted herself, she started thinking that she wants what the giraffe wanted, she thought that doing that for her will make her change her mind and try to look at what the pig is seeing. They remained like that for a long time. Until, "I saw him! I finally saw him giraffe! He attended the mass today! " pig "stop talking about him and move on now pig, he's a human, you can't just like him." Giraffe "ofcourse, I know that. That's beyond impossible."
One day, the giraffe saw the pig and the boy together near that tree. The boy was tying a necklace on the pig. The pig was very excited to tell the giraffe about it but the giraffe stopped talking to her. From then on, she did not see the giraffe anymore. She became the talk of the village animals. The pig was heart broken doubled by losing her friends and someone she loves. The pig kept her feelings for the boy so she cannot hurt her friends feelings. When she started thinking about herself, about what she like, and about what makes her happy she was drowned by her friends opinions as if they haven't known her. She's well aware that it would pain her, that it is wrong, that she's trying to stop it, that if bad things happen it is going to be her fault, that there will come judgement. She only wanted to feel what she really like even if she knows it's wrong it made her happy. Now she's in deep pain, agony, sorrow, grief, and anguish. She was dropped by the friends she made happy and whom she believed wouldn't judge her badly and would be there when she fell down even if she became a complete mess. A trash. A trash is what she is now. She's definitely a pig. She still understands and forgives, yet she's hurt.
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Louanne Piccolo
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Post by Louanne Piccolo »

Hi Angela!
Without mentioning the actual storyline, I just wanted to say that it's confusing to read because of the tenses. They tend to jump around inconsistently. Could you maybe fix that and then post again?
It's likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read - Lemony Snicket
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Anney618
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Post by Anney618 »

Hey Angela
About the tense you should work on it. It makes it confusing to read and then repost again
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Erica8600
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Post by Erica8600 »

Hey Angela!
The story is great but you should work on the storyline more, like, how old was the boy? How old was the pig? Maybe give more detail about them? Keep up the good work!
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neilperez
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Post by neilperez »

the story was amazing but it needed more a plot twist!
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Artizi
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Post by Artizi »

I agree with the other posts in this story, I'm sorry but the story is a bit confusing and should be edited. Keep writing!
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