MY STORY

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
Rhozel1
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Re: MY STORY

Post by Rhozel1 »

InStoree wrote:
24 Aug 2019, 07:35
I never had the feeling is fiction. It is an emotional read, and it seemed natural and true.

It really is fiction 😊,thanks for reading...

Rhozel1
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Post by Rhozel1 »

LyorBoone wrote:
16 Sep 2019, 15:28
Reading the comments and it's fun to how many people expect you are righting from experience more than imagination. It's a sign that you're doing something right! And I would say that something is that you know your character well. That's an extra impressive feet if you met him in your mind.
When I write, I think. I allow my imagination fly. I try to connect with the characters I’m writing about, that way, it makes it all so real to me.
Thanks for the compliment, and also for reading.

Rhozel1
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Post by Rhozel1 »

Tracysalome wrote:
31 Aug 2019, 01:46
You are the key to your survival, no one else but you. As much as life can throw rocks on you, you just don't give up. You are not a coward. Look for other ways of survival than giving up. The more time you think of giving up the more time you waste on your success.
👍👍👍

Rhozel1
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Post by Rhozel1 »

Pattie2002 wrote:
09 Sep 2019, 17:40
Try not to use conjugated words such as "don't" and give more details. Other than that, this was good.
Oh ok, noted. Thanks.

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Dragonsend
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Post by Dragonsend »

Wow! Great story, it included the lie of a friend, this guy was not this girl's friend! It included addiction and the lie of feeling good! I pray an answer is forthcoming.
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9 :angelic-grayflying:

Rhozel1
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Post by Rhozel1 »

Dragonsend wrote:
08 Oct 2019, 13:26
Wow! Great story, it included the lie of a friend, this guy was not this girl's friend! It included addiction and the lie of feeling good! I pray an answer is forthcoming.
Got me a bit confused with your comment. Didn’t mention a girl among the characters....but thanks for reading, still.

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Dragonsend
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Post by Dragonsend »

Rhozel1 wrote:
24 Oct 2019, 16:28
Dragonsend wrote:
08 Oct 2019, 13:26
Wow! Great story, it included the lie of a friend, this guy was not this girl's friend! It included addiction and the lie of feeling good! I pray an answer is forthcoming.
Got me a bit confused with your comment. Didn’t mention a girl among the characters....but thanks for reading, still.
I apoligize, what I meant was the main character was lured and by a professional con, someone who lies for a living, and lulled by the drugs altering their state of mind. It I horrible that there are people like this.
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9 :angelic-grayflying:

Rhozel1
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Post by Rhozel1 »

Pattie2002 wrote:
09 Sep 2019, 17:40
Try not to use conjugated words such as "don't" and give more details. Other than that, this was good.
Noted! Thanks a lot.

Rhozel1
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Post by Rhozel1 »

Dragonsend wrote:
25 Oct 2019, 15:21
Rhozel1 wrote:
24 Oct 2019, 16:28
Dragonsend wrote:
08 Oct 2019, 13:26
Wow! Great story, it included the lie of a friend, this guy was not this girl's friend! It included addiction and the lie of feeling good! I pray an answer is forthcoming.
Got me a bit confused with your comment. Didn’t mention a girl among the characters....but thanks for reading, still.
I apoligize, what I meant was the main character was lured and by a professional con, someone who lies for a living, and lulled by the drugs altering their state of mind. It I horrible that there are people like this.
Oh yes! Very true, that is why one has to be careful who we open up ourselves to. Sad....

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Charli Burn
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Post by Charli Burn »

This is incredible, each word is like a songbird, fluttering gently.
Delicate
Beautiful
But strong enough to make the largest mountain crumble
Until rubble is its form

Each lilting note is like a dagger to my heart
Encouraging me to write
Songs
Just
Like
You

So, in short
This is a very good story

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Post by CYSON DOROPH »

Wow, for a moment it felt like I was reading a person's biography. Your choice of wording truly portrayed sadness. This piece is splendid, but do proofread, while anticipating the flow of events because I sought a mistake in the first part. I think you missed a word or two.

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