Letter to Billy

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Okechukwu1759
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Letter to Billy

Post by Okechukwu1759 »

Dear Bill
How is the Bahamas? I am yet to consider joining you and your family soon. I got your note, interestingly I had a brief conversation about the subject with one of my colleagues last weekend and just in the middle of our conversation, she said, save yourself the stress of trying to know why a woman prefers jerks, to a man she will always be ‘bad judge of what is good for her'. The seriousness in her look suggest that she is speaking not just as a lady but as if she was speaking for all the ladies. She told a few of her personal experiences and it reminded me of the lead character April, in old uncle Jim’s favourite movie, the lady's man and how its always the cheat that gets the better of the lady. It is still puzzling how women are often interested in jerks; in a serial heart breaker that is obviously their no good? Its like taking alcohol to stay sane. Perhaps our women have been immersed in the idea that every man is a work in process they must perfect. I know a few who now recite the old saying, 'all men are the same’, as if it were a passage in the holy book. But could it be that women are, of course, most times bad judge of good character or they are just helpless in their thinking that the man is a problem they can fix? Well the world has already seen one of the best humanly motivated advice on the topic in Steve Harvey’s book, think like a man, act like a lady. However i do think Harvey forgot to add that a woman can be with a jerk for reasons that seem unreasonable to not only others but herself too. For instance, My friend Kate bought herself a wedding gown for a wedding, out of pity towards an online date she is yet to see. Though we did admire her courage and her believe in sacrifice, none of us wanted to be her, we wanted to be more like Jack and rose in the movie titanic, but yet none would have liked to be sacrificed like Jack. It was rather sad that Jack gave up himself for a lady he barely knows. True love right? Many of us would argue that Rosie’s decision to be with Jack and not the other guy, was a good choice and a good instance of a woman making the right choice. Well I believe she suffered unhappiness more than many of us can imagine. I do believe in sacrifice, especially that of Jesus Christ whose sacrifice gives a hope of a genuine happily ever after. Enough of Jack and Rose, back to the subject, are women really bad judge of honesty, sincerity and good character? Are they more gullible than the male folks or is there something about the so called bad guys that ladies find attractive? Although there is the assumption that women are more gullible based on the loose belief that women often get their heart broken than men, there is until this time no prove that they really are. On whether women find bad guys more attractive, my feelings are mixed , even if the bad guys appear more attractive or preferably more intriguing to women, it is often not because they know the right things to say as many of us were taught, but rather because the woman believe that she is the missing puzzle in his life; I learnt that from Robert Greene’s book the art of seduction, though Green entire work was trying to teach the opposite of what I learnt. Greene’s ideas were persuasive and is backed by an interview conducted in USA, which suggest that women wants more adventure than the male, and as such, they will be more interested in relationships that opens them up to a lot more adventure. Their submission is often used to reinforce the idea that ladies always prefer an alpha male, a behaviour often associated with the bad guys. But we cannot stop at saying women always prefer the bad guys because they are more adventurous. Since adventure can mean one thing to one person and something else to another and we know that what one woman considers intriguing might be boring or too risky for another woman it will be superfluous to end our search for what informs women’s preference for a no good here. We have to look for an underlying factor that will not only apply in some cases, but in all cases where a woman chooses a man.
Many women, especially the 21 century woman would disagree with the idea that women are bad judge of good character, a few can relate with the experience of always making the wrong judgement when it comes to telling which man is or is not good for them. Women in the first category insists they often make the best choice based on the available data and their personal taste at the time. According to them, the men are the problem, they say something else and end up doing its opposite. Hence you don’t expect them to be right when the other party is just out to deceive. While the women in the second group believes that they would have made the right decision if they were a little more careful. Despite the school of thought a woman belongs to, in the end, they grow tired of trying. For the average woman, finding the right guy is now so big a problem that they have given up on men. Only talks of marriage keeps our women interested in men these days. Without exaggeration, most women spend half of their lives, looking back, wishing if they had only done it differently, if only they had chosen the good man, they would have not made so many mistakes. So many turning themselves in to prophets that could tell the end even before it’s begining. I guess that for them it’s no longer once beaten twice shy, but once beaten, forever unavailable. Nevertheless, it is more easier when a lady recognises the point that it’s quite difficult for her to tell when a man is the right one or not. At least, she would not be too quick to fall for just any jerk but maybe for a professional jerk.
Overtime, we have often here that these so called bad guys knows how to keep a woman intrigued. Which has forced some men in to taken up the adventure of a personal study just to be the so called 'bad guys'. I do believe otherwise, for me we can basically explain the reason why women prefer such guys, when we examine the claim that it is natural for women to want to nurture a man. From a natural attitude of care, women are often moved when a man needs help. As much as the jerk shows confidence and other qualities women find attractive, the qualities are not just the reason the woman stays. I believe a woman falls in love when she sees herself as being the answer to a particular need of the man and It doesn’t matter if he publicly state this need or not. Thus, in most cases a woman chooses a man that needs help and it is no exaggeration to say that the so called bad guys appear to need help than otherwise. Hence, it is not a coincidence when women prefers them. The idea is that, women often give the bad guys a chance just to change them or control them like our friend Freddy thinks. Nevertheless, it is also necessary to note that a woman still decides on her own which Man’s need she is an answer to, a decision which may be well thought out or one which may be preinformed by sentiments. Clearly a woman cannot date every man she thinks needs help, so consciously or unconsciously some need appear more important to her than others. At this point, a woman’s personal sentiments comes to play, even if she would not admit it does.
It is without doubt a truism that not many men would get a chance to be heard by a lady and as a result, she could hardly tell what need these men have. It is at this point the so called bad guys have an advantage. While the cool guy can go unnoticed for a long time, a bad guy gets noticed easily and this makes it less difficult for a woman to see them. Hence, they can be heard without even talking to their target. We can say that though the bad guys display can help them get noticed, it does not mean that they will always be given a chance. Thus, the woman will still decide who gets or not get her. But remember she can only love genuinely when she sees a need or a role to play in the man's life. So a woman’s love is only open to those her preconditions of care and sentiments can relate with and not really those who thinks they are good with words or honest with them. If you'll agree with me, a woman will often time reject a man that appears too cool or too honest because she thinks he is boring when in a sense she knows she would have nothing tangible to offer him. For instance, recently I met a friend whose girlfriend dumped because she thinks he was too boring, too cool and perfect and I was wondering why some women can be so mean. But to say that women would not date a cool guy would be a lie, but even when they do date one, it is because there is a need the lady thinks she’s a solution to in his life. Am not saying that women are that selfless, though it is largely unnoticed, most women thinks by being an answer to a man’s need, they can be in control not of the man, but of how the man would see them, of how the man will deal with them. Women are selfless but they crave more for reciprocity. Before a woman dates, these four things must happen though how they happen is not fixed. A woman must have listened to you, it doesn’t mean the man must always speak, she might just have been observing him, then they get sympathetic once they know you need help, they assume they can do something to your situation when they are close to you and finally they hope being the man's answer would influence how you see them, how you treat them. Though it would be a lie to say the stages always follow the way It was mentioned here, I still maintain that for every time a woman enters a relationship with a man, these four stages must take place. Thus, a woman wants a repeat of what she gives to the man. It is also worthy to note that most men hardly understand how a woman works, even the bad guy would almost never admit he needs help. Hence, while men feel important when they ahead of their peers, women feel important when they know they are an answers to a problem, which of course is not limited to a man’s problem. This of course does not mean that a woman will not feel important when she is ahead of her peers, in fact, another reason why woman choose the adventure to date the bad guys is to be associated with power, to stay ahead of their peers. But basically she knows there is a problem to be fixed, and when she is associated with the solution, it makes a lot sense.
There is this saying that women wants to be led and another that says the man is just the woman's spoke person, suggesting that most of the decisions are taken by the lady be it the wife or mistress. My point is, a woman wants to be in control as much as she wants to be led by him. Even when she is led, she doesn’t want to be just a subject but a joint decision maker. Nature has informed women to be better decision makers when it concerns the future than their spouse. Little wonder why God called them help meets. So in a sense women are either directly or indirectly, a being that wants control. It makes a whole lot sense now, when women date those bad guys, they hope they will at some point control his decisions and by extension, his behaviour. To men, women are bad judge of what they want but to them, they are bad judge of what is not good for them. I mean they know what they want, they hope to get it even in the most difficult places, but they most often than not forget to win, they get carried away by the tide of emotion, it leaves them too vulnerable or too closed in the end, but still they know what they want, and it’s possible to win.
ThomasTheAttorney
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Post by ThomasTheAttorney »

I got tired of reading this into about the 30th long sentence. You need to capitalize book titles, films titles, and proper names. Each mistake like that is a stumbling block. No paragraphs and the sentences are too long. You state and restate women like jerks. Rarely, if ever, restate something in a short story. But this looks like a rant, not a story.
Cwaganagwa Dorothy
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Post by Cwaganagwa Dorothy »

I sighted a great deal of anger and uncertainty about your take on women, but ask yourself what you want in your counterpart. You see all that you have written sums to needs and expectations plus results. Do re-read to track all grammar and typing mistakes because this sounds like non-fiction.
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