Could this be love?

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
Post Reply
User avatar
laughter_wsd
Posts: 2
Joined: 23 Sep 2018, 12:00
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 0

Could this be love?

Post by laughter_wsd »

Tales of a day

She looks me straight in the eye " Why did you do it? I know you did it so don't you dare lie to me!"
I clench my fist shaking my head "Lucy, I can explain just hear me out."
She yells hitting me repeatedly "What's your problem!? How could you do such a thing Michael!?"
I grab her wrists stopping her from hitting me " Hey! Hey!! Let's go in and we can talk about this calmly. Please." I beg.
Her eyes are really watery now, "It's taking a lot to stand here to hear whatever you have to say and you ask me to go in to sit and talk calmly!? You are unbelievable! " She spits at me.
"Listen, I know you deserve to be angry but please just hear me out. Please, I am begging you."
"Talk then, I can hear all you have to say right here." She tells me.
"You are right, I killed him." I admit ashamedly
"your husband worked for me and when you told me you were pregnant for me, I had to do something. I couldn't bring myself to ask you to abort it so I asked your husband to come to my place." I pause gauging her reaction. She just stands there, tears flowing down her cheeks as she takes in my words.
"And you decided killing him was the best way to go about it. How does that even take the baby out of the picture!?" She snaps throwing her hands in the air.
"That's not really what happened okay!?" I retort, she looks taken aback by my sudden outburst.
I take in a deep breath before continuing "Look, he came over and we talked."
"Talked about what?" She cuts in
"Business okay, that's all we did, talk and drink then he got drunk and I tried cajoling him to go home and most likely sleep with you so it will be easy to link the pregnancy to him but he didn't. He just sat there, refusing to move a muscle. " I explain
"Gosh! You are so unbelievable." She states looking at me like I have suddenly grown two horns.
"I had no choice okay!? I panicked moreover, he got me triggered. But what's done is done, we can't undo it." I defend
She looks up at me "How could you say, you had no choice?" She asks in an oddly terrifying yet calm tone. "You had every choice not to but you decided to kill him. You killed my husband! " She yells.
"I am sorry, but it's for better" I plead wrapping her hands with mine.
"Words can't explain how much hatred I feel towards you right now" She spits at me, slowly removing her hands from mine.
Her words hit me hard and instinctively, I eliminate the distance between us, crashing my lips against her's. The saltiness of her tears on her lips combined with the familiar ever delicious taste of her lips driving me crazy. She protests, wriggling to get out of my grip but I hold her firmly in place kissing her forcefully till she is kissing me back with equal fervor. I smirk against her lips pulling away as she moves to deepen the kiss.
"So much for hating my guts" I comment, a smile on my lips.
She looks away, "I hate you okay, I hate that I am not completely mad at you for what you've done."
She finally looks up at me "I hate that I still succumb to your kisses even after what you have done. I hate that I am literally the cause for my husband's death. He was a good man, he deserved better than someone like me for a wife and surely didn't deserve to die the way he did and I hate you for that."
I smile at her, "I love you. I love you Lucy with all my heart and every fibre in my body and I mean every word I say. Look at the good side of the story, he is finally out of the picture. We can finally embrace our attraction to each other in absence of secrecy".
She stares at me not saying a word, her lips trembling. I don't wait for her to get herself together before crashing my lips to her's again. She wraps her arm around my neck, my hands finding their way to her waist pulling her closer to me.
Few hours later, we lay wrapped in each other's arm, the room revealing the secret of what went on hours before.
"I will go prepare a bath for you" I tell her, placing a kiss on her forehead. Putting on my shorts, I head for the bathroom.
"Do you feel sore?" I ask coming out of the bathroom shortly. She shakes her head in response. I look at her uncertainly, "The bath is ready." I inform her.
She gets up,"thanks." She says clasping sheets to her body as she makes her way to the bathroom.
I walk to the kitchen to help myself with a glass of water, returning to the room after having my fill.
As soon as I enter, I hear a loud crashing sound followed by a sharp pain in my head.
"Aarggh!!!" I scream dropping to my knees, my vision blurry but clear enough to see Lucy drop my now broken lampstand. She grabs her phone from the bed hurriedly dialing a number. "Hello, please come as soon as possible to number 4, Damson Street, Newcity estate. There is a murderer here, he killed my husband." I hear her say to the receiver. I feel so many emotions at this point, anger, panic, betrayal! I can't hear what the person on the other line says but she glances at my form on the floor thinking I am fully unconscious.
"Yes, he is completely knocked out now. Please hurry, he mustn't regain consciousness before you get here. I am not sure how hard I hit him." She adds before the call is disconnected.
I watch blurry images of her pace around the room as she tries to stifle her sob. Occasionally she glances at me perhaps to confirm I am still knocked out.
Using her distracted state to my advantage,I muster all the strength I can to move. Silently, I move towards the bedside table nearest to where I lay. I carefully draw out the drawer pulling out my gun I keep hidden under all the files there.
Hearing her steps advance towards my direction, I hurriedly place the gun at the back of my shorts, rolling back to the position I was, not having time to close the drawer.
She glances at me again and I fear she might see the open drawer. She does, she looks at the drawer and back at me skeptically.
"was that open before?". I hear her mutter
Walking around me, she goes to the drawer to close it. The sound of a gun going off plus a scream resonating within the house is what follows next. She turns to look at me shocked, her body collapsing to the ground. The question 'Why did she betray me?' revolves in my head along with the full realization of what I have done. It doesn't matter anyway, what's done is done.
"See you in hell, bitch" I spit. Everything turns black.


- Anonymous@lol
(Aremo Aanuoluwapo)
Hey fellow writers and readers. This is a piece I wrote sometime ago, hope you all love it. Please do comment and let me know what you think.
User avatar
Nisha Ward
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 2311
Joined: 04 Feb 2019, 15:00
Favorite Author: Garth Nix
Favorite Book: Binti Home
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 321
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-nisha-ward.html
Latest Review: Fear Not, Dream Big, & Execute by Jeff Meyer
Reading Device: B0794RHPZD
fav_author_id: 4351

Post by Nisha Ward »

The pacing is nice, though you might want to think of breaking up the dialogue with some more action. I also like the move from anguish to love to betrayal. It was a great read.
"...while a book has got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the reader it's got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the writer as well." - Terry Pratchett on The Last Continent and his writing.
User avatar
laughter_wsd
Posts: 2
Joined: 23 Sep 2018, 12:00
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by laughter_wsd »

Thanks for the honest feedback, duly noted.
User avatar
Czarina Grace
Book of the Month Participant
Posts: 26
Joined: 27 Aug 2018, 00:54
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 123
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-czarina-grace.html
Latest Review: The Maestro Monologue by Rob White

Post by Czarina Grace »

I liked it! It was short, direct and cleanly portrayed. I'll admit it was shocking to read murder right off the bat when the title says something about love. But ultimately it just led to the overall charm of your piece! Especially with all the important elements such as the murder, motive, and idea of love had all been explained. Keep up the good work!
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Short Stories”