Fear to society

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
Post Reply
User avatar
MaidenCrystal115
Posts: 1
Joined: 24 Jun 2019, 23:13
Bookshelf Size: 0

Icon Fear to society

Post by MaidenCrystal115 »

It's surprising and confusing how something as vital as society can be a pain and a scary word to people.
What you do, say, think or even how you life, may be not acceptable to society.
People everyday wake up on the morning, get up and shower. Later eat breakfast while they're ready to start their routine.
A routine that's perpetual and never ends, because you can't leave it or your life support may vanish.
But what if I break my routine? What if instead of doing my cyclical routine, I walk to another path on the route and maybe leisure on the way.
Even if means people looking at you confused, thinking what's up with you or why you walk around like a lost lamb.
Maybe the fresh air can shake me awake better from the morining stupor or maybe each step lead to a new idea.
How would I live if I didn't chose nursing? What would I be doing now? Should I talk to those strangers on the street to start a small talk? Would I be...weird if I succumb to my depression? Would it be bad to fake a smile to my patients? Or is it fine to do that?
On my feet, there's the ache from a heavy machinery made up with ideas, thoughts and emotions.
People can carry pain and sorrow and hide it under a tired face and heavy coat...
And the fact people can't fight it or people see their fight as 'nonconventional'...
Why should be isolate them and not help them?
Does that mean we are not part of a society?
User avatar
Nisha Ward
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 2311
Joined: 04 Feb 2019, 15:00
Favorite Author: Garth Nix
Favorite Book: Binti Home
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 321
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-nisha-ward.html
Latest Review: Fear Not, Dream Big, & Execute by Jeff Meyer
Reading Device: B0794RHPZD
fav_author_id: 4351

Post by Nisha Ward »

Oh, this is good. Maybe break up some of the lines for a punchier effect but it's very good as is right now.
"...while a book has got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the reader it's got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the writer as well." - Terry Pratchett on The Last Continent and his writing.
User avatar
bespectacledpetal
Posts: 68
Joined: 09 May 2019, 10:28
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 10
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bespectacledpetal.html
Latest Review: The Undying Queen of Ur by Abraham Kawa & Arahom Radjah
Reading Device: B00HCNHDN0

Post by bespectacledpetal »

This is great!
TLWoodliff
Posts: 11
Joined: 19 Jun 2019, 11:40
Currently Reading: No Pit So Deep
Bookshelf Size: 4

Post by TLWoodliff »

This has a lot of potential as a conversation starter, for sure. I can visualize a class reading this before a deep-dive discussion.

Grammar errors make it a little difficult to flow with the energy as you build it (nicely) and leave the reading musing your final words.

I enjoyed this.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Short Stories”