A lesson for parents

[Josephe-Anne]

One of the things that I found very striking was how sheltered and ignorant was Embon. I think this lesson also applies today, as a lot of parents think that is better to take care of every need or problem of the child, without taking into consideration his/ her future development. What would you have done differently? Do you think that if Embon had had a different upbringing he would have become a different man?

That's a really interesting question. I was raised in a very sheltered (only child) way like Embon. So, I can relate. Having been on the receiving end of this parenting style, I will say this:

1) It does protect children from harm as they are growing up. You hear all sorts of horror stories about tragic things happening to kids who weren't well-supervised.

2) It can cause children to grow into very naive teenagers and adults, which means they are in for a rude awakening when they get out into the real world and start experiencing life's unpleasantries.

In light of this, I would recommend a healthy blend of both the sheltering and "tough love" parenting styles.

[Francis Aderogbin]

Personally, I was brought up in such a way that 70% of my issues were sorted by myself. This had helped me a great deal in navigating life as it is. Child upbringing cannot be the same everywhere due to several factors which environment is inclusive. So, maybe if he had been brought up differently, the situation might be different.

[prakritisingh]

The book gives a great lesson to parents. It teaches them to be more liberal to their children. It is not always that imposing their beliefs and decisions on them would give good results. They may make bad decisions that would ruin their children's life forever. They may have given birth to them, and brought their bodies in this world but they have their own mind and soul that may feel differently and think differently. They should be given the freedom to take a stand for themselves and make decisions.

[Ahbed Nadir]

Parents need to learn to allow their children to live their lives for themselves, learning and making their own mistakes on their own. Most parents attempt to live vicariously through their child forcing their own failed dreams and ambitions upon them. Coming from a strict household myself, I can relate to Embon very well.

[Ahbed Nadir]

As much as I love Lady Sougyon as a character I would've done a ton of things differently. You can't allow your child, for example, to kick an elderly person just for the fun of it. And I think, as she was focused on Embon's academic success because he was a prodigy, she neglected other areas of his development. But, of course, it must've been incredibly hard to be a single mother at the time. What I applaud is that she left Embon to make his own opinion about his father, instead of badmouthing him.

When it came to Embon, I must say that Lady Sougyon turned a blind eye to all his faults and refused to discipline him rather deciding to shelter and pamper him and allowing his indulgences instead of training him in the way to live. When Embon kicked the carrier, I was very disappointed in her parenting. Parents need to learn when to correct and when to give freedom.

[Ahbed Nadir]

The book gives a great lesson to parents. It teaches them to be more liberal to their children. It is not always that imposing their beliefs and decisions on them would give good results. They may make bad decisions that would ruin their children's life forever. They may have given birth to them, and brought their bodies in this world but they have their own mind and soul that may feel differently and think differently. They should be given the freedom to take a stand for themselves and make decisions.

Children are fascinating creatures. Parents need to realize that raising them is a large responsibility and not something to be taken lightly and shoved off to other people. If Embon's parents had been a little stricter with him and a little more lax in certain areas it is almost certain that he would have turned out to be a better man than he turned out to be.

[Ahbed Nadir]

The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Although his mom and grandfather had progressive ideals, they were still a family from a high social class. A lot of things in life are served to them on a silver platter. But it's good that he had a heart of gold and had the strength to change his ways. I believe this is also partly because of his mom and grandfather.

Yeah, it could be argued that Embon inherited some flawed character traits from his mother but it is her duty to train him against such. Embon's display of disdain for the servant carrier was a bit disgusting to me especially as Lady Sougyon failed to train him otherwise as she herself did not see servants as people.

[Albaou Amira]

I think that children need sheltering to an extend as much as they need discipline. Our personality, perspective on life stems mostly from what we learned as children, and parents should be careful about what they raise their kids up to believe.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

The way of upbringing decides how a child will be after he is grown. And also it determines how attached him to his parents. Here we see that Embon is not much attached to his mother. Maybe he would have left his mission if he was brought up in a different manner and had more loving connection with his mother

[María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda]

As much as I love Lady Sougyon as a character I would've done a ton of things differently. You can't allow your child, for example, to kick an elderly person just for the fun of it. And I think, as she was focused on Embon's academic success because he was a prodigy, she neglected other areas of his development. But, of course, it must've been incredibly hard to be a single mother at the time. What I applaud is that she left Embon to make his own opinion about his father, instead of badmouthing him.

When it came to Embon, I must say that Lady Sougyon turned a blind eye to all his faults and refused to discipline him rather deciding to shelter and pamper him and allowing his indulgences instead of training him in the way to live. When Embon kicked the carrier, I was very disappointed in her parenting. Parents need to learn when to correct and when to give freedom.

I totally agree. I think her reasons were twofold: she was trying to compensate for his lack of a father and she was trying to modernize his education. But it was the wrong move, and I'm surprised it didn't have even worse consequences.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

Yes, I do think that Embon could be a better and stronger person if his upbringing was different. I think lady Sougyon really loved Embon and sheltered him so much because she suffered from a difficult marriage and she was just trying her best to protect Embon and give him so much love and care.

I too think so. Most of the overprotective parents are the ones who had hard childhoods. They try to prevent that from happening to their own child and ultimately they become overprotective. But that affects negatively to the development of the child. That is the exact same thing that has happened in between Lady Sougyon and Embon

[Jennifer Garcia 555]

I believe parenting has a huge effect on children, but some children are more difficult then others. Parents should be a good role model and make sure there are consequences for their actions, then hope for the best.

[Damian Keyes]

Embon was raised with the best upbringing, due to his family royal connection. I love that fact that he grew up and was not the same rude and bossy child that Seoh saw years earlier. I feel that Embon became a different man on his own because of the influence of his college friends. The transition from boy to man was apparent in the reading.

[lavkathleen]

Yeah, it could be argued that Embon inherited some flawed character traits from his mother but it is her duty to train him against such. Embon's display of disdain for the servant carrier was a bit disgusting to me especially as Lady Sougyon failed to train him otherwise as she herself did not see servants as people.

Lady Sougyon didn't see servants as people? She showed them compassion, more than what was expected of her as a master at that time period. If there was any inhumanity against the servants, it was because they were already used to it which compelled her to just go with it. Other than that, she treated them well and even helped them even when she wasn't expected to. As for Embon, well, no one can excuse what he did even though he was still a toddler at that time.

[energyking]

Of course the way we are raised up affects the way we turn out as adults. Another question is, if the result would be better or worse. Raising up children is a rather complicated issue I can’t imagine what I would have done differently, since it is a different culture and a different era. Anyway, as a parent I think that solving every problem and filling every need of the child might not be the best way to go. The kids need to learn some survival skills and problem solving skills and they definitely won’t learn if they don’t ever have the opportunity for that. Giving challenges that match the child’s age and current skill level adds up with my philosophy better than sheltering the child from just about everything.

My mother used to say that parents are always learning how to be parents since it is something that they have never experienced before. Sure, someone might have more than one children but that does not necessarily mean that what work for their first kid might work for another one. There is no formule for raising a child but I truly agree with you. If you solve every problem that you child might have or spoil them too much then they will grow into thinking that the world owes them something. As long as it his something that the children can solve on their own, it is the best to let them be.

I concur with this. I am not a parent myself, but it is a full time job trying to balance doting on a child and letting the child grow up and make mistakes on their own. And like you said, not every child can adapt to the same parenting style even if they're all from the same parents.