A lesson for parents

Use this forum to discuss the January 2021 Book of the month, "The Vanished" by Pejay Bradley
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Kennedy NC
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Re: A lesson for parents

Post by Kennedy NC »

What I would have done differently would be to instill more discipline on Embon as a parent, and yes I think he would have turned out differently if raised differently.
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Post by Trustedbook »

The utmost priority of every parent is for their child to be the best, yet there are still some illls in the society still caused by the child, this is either because of authoritative parenting were the child losses interest in his passion because of excessive parenting, or either lack of attention on the parents side toward d child, not wanting to know and develop the pre mature potentials in the child. So it is advisible to allow a child misbehave in other for you to know we're the problem is coming from and how to correct.
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Post by Suzer6440 xyz »

This is definately a great book and review. I like the character of Embon! There are a lot of great points for parents and children here that I really like and that is helpful
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Post by K+SQUARE »

Parents should endeavor to expose their kids as much as possible, not hiding them from the realities of how the world truly operates. They will definitely need the experiences exposure brings.
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Post by Heidadela »

The mistake we parents commit is to give the child everything they need on a silver platter. We treat them softly as if they are fragile eggs.
What we forget is that the world out there is cruel and the strongest do survive. We forget that if we treat them too softly, they will be shocked when the real world out there treats them roughly. The lack of preparation makes them confused on what to do out there and they end up choosing the easiest way out. I am sure Embon would have turned out differently if his upbringing was different.
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Post by ViviVivid »

A proper upbringing and instilling values are very important for a child's development. These things shape the child into the adult they become. Every parent wants to protect their child from experiencing or even knowing about hard situations but by sheltering them from these they are actually doing them harm. A child who doesn't know the value of money or even hard work would never understand people who suffer these. It is the parents' duty to make children aware of the hardships of life and moral values. Change begins at home.
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Post by jaym_tan »

There is certainly no such thing as one type of parenting. There are different kinds that work best for different parents. Things like this are easier said then done because when you become a parent that's where you find out what's best for your child. At the end of the day, every parent just wants their child to be prepared in life.
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Post by joynob24365 »

I'm not sure. Raising a child is a difficult task, so is making the right choices for him/her. But I agree that we shouldn't give the child everything they want and have some authority over them.
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Post by danielleamy »

Your question reminds me of the nature vs. nurture debate. Although parenting has a huge impact on how a child will develop, biology has an impact too. Our own behaviour as adults is not wholly dependent on our upbringing. So many factors interact to make us who we are and they can affect our decisions e.g. friends, family, education and experience. It would be too simple to wholly attribute parenting as the only factor.
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Post by Carina Jordaan »

Circumstances and upbringing definitely have an influence on a child response to the world, but I think personality is unique it has a bigger influence on how we act and who we become as individuals and adults.
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Post by Cwilde13 »

As a new step-parent, I know how difficult it is to raise a child. I strive to provide information and examples of how to live a healthy and happy life, so my child can use those lessons when he is older. I think it is important to let your child make their own mistakes and see the world, so that they are ready when they eventually leave you. The parents in this book did their child no favors by protecting him from consequences and the world.
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Post by talli_5 »

I think parents over sheltering and overprotecting their children is a huge problem. Parents should be preparing their children to live lives without them. If you don't then your children will always need you and see you as a safety net for all their problems.
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Post by MirageParul »

nikkiloveskiwi wrote: 15 Jan 2021, 23:46 Yes, I do think that Embon could be a better and stronger person if his upbringing was different. I think lady Sougyon really loved Embon and sheltered him so much because she suffered from a difficult marriage and she was just trying her best to protect Embon and give him so much love and care.
I like that you try to see Lady Sougyon's point of view. It is natural to see a child's bad behavior and blame his upbringing, but having a kid myself has taught me to be non-judgemental about other parents, and more importantly, be kinder to myself.
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Post by Buk Nerd »

While I understand that Lady Sougyon was probably more focused on Embon academic success, I believe she could have been firmer with him. Different culture and era notwithstanding, every child needs to be well-prepared to look out for themselves when they are older. I guess Lady Sougyon must have adjusted her methods later on because there was no way Embon could have grown into the man he became if he had remained a spoiled brat.
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Post by Muzafar Iqbal »

To be fair parenting is a difficult job and every parent is different. All you can do is try your best.
Having said that, Lady Sougyon could have done a better job.
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