Surrogate Family?

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
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Re: Surrogate Family?

Post by Vivian Jabeya »

I think that the relationship between the three characters formed a surrogate relationship. Lena gave life a second chance. She changed her mode of dressing and went to search for her son. Maureen had a friend to talk to when she had issues concerning motherhood. Kalayla found a way to spend her time and changed her character. She stopped being as rude as she was and became more accommodating.
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Post by car-mbz »

The three women formed a great bond and became family. What each brought to the relationship can't be quantified, but am glad all of them benefitted from the relationship and they became better people.
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Post by iammiape »

Kola+wole wrote: 02 Sep 2020, 09:17 I don't think what each of them put in and got out of the relationship can be measured in any way. I feel that the relationship was beneficial to every one of them since a need was met by the others.
Agree. The unattended needs of the others became apparent among the characters, and they initiated to attend them. In terms of whether a character got the most of the relationship compared to the others, I think that everybody had their unique contribution and influence in the development of one another.
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Post by Gabby S14 »

I agree with a lot of the comments in this thread that the relationships between these three women are not quantifiable. But the incredible thing is that they all found something they needed in each other by accident. They were not expressly looking for someone to fill the void in their lives, but it just turned out that way, which is a beautiful lesson in how sometimes found family can really make us feel whole.
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Post by Mason Garrod »

I think it was more or less equally valuable to all of them. You could view it that Lena was fairly self-reliant already on her own, whereas Maureen really lacked a lot of confidence and composure, so as a result perhaps Maureen benefited most. But in Lena's case, I think Maureen and Kalayla were the answer to problems she almost wasn't even aware of. Maureen's problems were more noticeable from the beginning but all of them benefited greatly from each others' presence
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Clare Jose
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Post by Clare Jose »

Ify_Reviewer wrote: 18 Sep 2020, 07:22 I think In relationships what really matters is equity and not equality. It's really not about who gets more or less. It's about receiving the much you need.

I think each of the characters got the exact measure they needed from the relationship.
I agree with you there. I too think that each character found something they needed in the other. This relationship among them gave them the initiative to change, and move in the right path. In the end, they all benefitted from each other in terms of family and acceptance.
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Post by k_madhu_jha »

I agree with you completely. God unwanted this to believe so badly. I know they were in that relationship for some need. But who isn't. You can't define need in particular. I would love to believe that they are in a surrogate relationship.
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Post by Janet Kimetto »

I remember Kalayla having a conversation with Lena, and Kalayla suddenly saying, "... just like you're my grandmother, right?" And Lena was beside herself in joy for being granted the 'grandmother' status. Those three greatly benefited from their relationship, but I can't say one got more from it than the others. They all got what they needed.
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Post by Nathaniel Owolabi »

I totally loved the relationship between them. It just comes to show that you don't have to be related by blood to be family and that live is what is most important. I do wish people if this generation could be that loving and accepting. Their relationship is a great role model to follow.
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Post by 19blueofficial »

Kelyn wrote: 01 Sep 2020, 20:48 What do you think about the psychological/sociological bonds that form between the three main characters? To me, despite the character's differing backgrounds, the relationships gradually formed into a type "surrogate" immediate family:

Lena - (surrogate) mother/ grand-mother

Maureen - Lena's (surrogate) daughter/ Kalayla's mother

Kalayla - Maureen's daughter/ Lena's (surrogate) grand-daughter

In your opinion, how did this satisfy the needs of each character? Did one character get more out of the relationship than the others? :eusa-think:
I think Kalayla benefited more than the rest since she's the one that links this two together and they're both super close to her than they are to each other.
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Post by Rizki Pradana »

I think the relationship was satisfying between each character because Lena can take care of Kalayla, which would bring back to Lena's past where she failed to do so to her sons. Maureen as Kalayla's mother would be glad that someone takes care of her child when she needs to works. Kalayla will satisfy because she finally has something to do other than wandering around the streets and she was excited to hear the story about Lena. I think there was not a character who was getting more from these three relationships between Lena, Maureen, and Kalayla.
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Post by Oyedele Tomijane »

Sincere relationships, in my opinion, cannot be measured by who gains more or less. It was unplanned and happened because their hearts were in sync. I do not believe anyone gained more or less. They all benefited immensely from loving and also being loved in return.
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Post by Akangbe Opeyemi »

I believe they all put in enough and benefitted equally. My the reason of meeting themselves, they had positive impacts on each others lives. Lena help Mauren with Kalayla, Kalayla and Mauren helped Lena overcome the pain of losing her children and see more hopes in life.
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Post by Chinazo Anozie »

Kelyn wrote: 01 Sep 2020, 20:48 What do you think about the psychological/sociological bonds that form between the three main characters? To me, despite the character's differing backgrounds, the relationships gradually formed into a type "surrogate" immediate family:

Lena - (surrogate) mother/ grand-mother

Maureen - Lena's (surrogate) daughter/ Kalayla's mother

Kalayla - Maureen's daughter/ Lena's (surrogate) grand-daughter

In your opinion, how did this satisfy the needs of each character? Did one character get more out of the relationship than the others? :eusa-think:
I really like this question. I remember when thinking of Lena's interest in Maureen and Kalayla that they hit jackpot and were lucky to have caught the eye of their landlady who had the financial means to help them. Even though I know Lena didn't just help them financially, it couldn't have hurt. But all in all, i think they all really did help each other.
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Post by Manas Ranjan Mishra »

Not every relationship should have a name or must have a blood relation. There was a lot of love between Lena, Kalayla and Maureen. Although their motives and thinking were different from each other, they solved their issues with the help of each other.
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