Reconciliation

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
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Stephanie Runyon
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Re: Reconciliation

Post by Stephanie Runyon »

I doubt it. Jamal understood and was realistic. But the family was unreasonable while he was alive. I can empathize with Maureen's feeling of abandonment in the beginning because I have lived through that type of isolation (not race related though) and still do with most of my family members.
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Post by MsH2k »

I think Kalayla would have found out about the O’Rourkes earlier if Jamal were still alive. Although he left the storytelling up to Maureen, he wasn’t comfortable lying to Kalayla, and she would have picked up on something sooner. I believe in the resiliency of relationships; I’ve seen it happen. Since we are rewriting the story, if there were another divinely set up encounter between Kalayla and an O’Rourke, I think it probably would be the same initial response—Maureen’s dad would soften first, bringing the siblings along thereafter. With more time, the mom might thaw a bit. She would have a hard time knowing the family was getting together without her. Maureen and Jamal would possibly have had more children, which would mean a stronger draw for the family to be reunited. In any case, I think the children would initiate the reunion. Maureen’s parents may not accept Jamal, but the kids would warm their hearts if they met them.
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Post by imet123 »

I think this reconciliation greatly had to do with Kalayla's mom, if she wasn't willing for it, there is little another could have done.
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Post by evraealtana »

Actually, I think it would have been harder to reconcile if Jamal had still been alive. Him being gone made it easier, I think, for Maureen's family to look past their racism and remember that she was their daughter, first and foremost. If Jamal had still been around, I think they would have had a harder time putting their racism aside to reach out to Maureen because they would have seen Jamal and been reminded of why they had shut her out in the first place.
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Post by Readinggrl18 »

I think in some ways the story would have been completely different in Jamal had been alive. Kalayla probably would not have built such a relationship with Lena if she already had someone who was there for her physically and emotionally. I think there is a good chance Kalayla's grandparents would not have had any progress if Jamal was alive because nothing would have changed. Maureen's mother shut the door in her face when she came to her for help after his death. If that wasn't a time to get past their hatred and show love, him being alive wouldn't have been enough.
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Post by Snowflake »

What an interesting question. I agree that Jamal was leaving things up to Marueen but he was also pushing her to tell Kaylayla the truth about her grandparents. Kaylayla was such a strong character, she may have tried to contact her family earlier if Jamal had lived and encouraged Maureen to tell her the truth. I don't know if Maureen's family would have been ready any earlier though.
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Post by jdsatosk »

shreyagupta wrote: 18 Sep 2020, 11:25
Laurina_Olowo wrote: 02 Sep 2020, 08:50 I don't think so. If he were alive, I think her parents would still be hiding into thier resentments.
True. I think that the fact Maureen lost her husband and was left alone with raising Kalayla, deepened her family's sympathy for her. Maybe it was this sympathy that made them consider reconnecting with Maureen when her father accidently met Kalayla.
I think you may have a valid point there. Maybe the pain of missing a daughter in addition to that sympathy fo Maureen may have eased the path for reconciliation. Sometimes it is time that helps heal old wounds too.
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Post by Dartemis »

If Jamal was still alive, the events that played out in this book would be totally different. The whole reason they are in the apartment, to begin with, was that Maureen had to downsize. It was because of all the different connections she and Kalayla made in the apartment that lead to the rekindling with Maureen's family. If Jamal somehow survived his accident, we would be getting a totally different story.
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Post by zainherb »

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 00:22
Bertha Jackson wrote: 09 Sep 2020, 20:44 I don't think reconciliation would have been any different if Jamal had lived because he was leaving it up to Maureen. I don't think he would have initiated anything on his own.
Indeed, his role as a father was shared with Maureen. But again, I wouldn't say that he's to blame for all the trouble that Kalayla goes through trying to find herself. From the beginning even when Maureen was with Kalayla at home, she was always hooked to painting or other errands. Kalayla says she wasn't bothered whether they ate late or the same meal for days. This shows that both Jamal and Maureen failed to create enough time and consideration into their daughter's welfare and self awareness.
Precisely.
And the fact that they didn't spend enough time with Kalayla to create a much stronger bond that would have made it easier to talk to her whenever, is probably why Jamal couldn't talk to her about forgiveness. He was probably scared and unable to initiate the conversation . This is what happens when parents do not spend enough quality time with their children .
When they make mistakes(which anyone will), it becomes harder to reconcile, because there was nary an open type of bond there in the first place.
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Post by mlh6fn »

The reconciliation with Maureen's family is ultimately up to her family recognizing and overcoming their racism. While a part of me thinks that Jamal's death made it easier for Maureen's father to reach out because he didn't have to face Jamal directly, the fact is that his granddaughter is still biracial and she was the first contact Mr. O'Rourke had with his estranged daughter that led to his desire to reconcile. If Jamal being Black was the mitigating factor that kept Mr. O'Rourke away, then why wouldn't Kalayla's race do the same? So it may not have mattered whether Jamal was still alive or not, because the main factor was Mr. O'Rourke realizing losing his daughter and granddaughter wasn't worth holding on to his racism.
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Post by Elvis Best »

The issues of racism and resentment ran deep. If Jamal were to stay alive, I don't think he would been able to change the family dynamic, although he might have been able to reduce Kalayla's suffering.
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Post by RHD »

Reconciliation is always on the table when it comes to family. Family is one of the strongest bonds humans get to experience and however much we get hurt or angry or even harbor bitterness, blood is thicker. Forgiveness is freedom.
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Post by ElizaBeth Adams »

If Jamal hadn't died, Maureen and Kalayla probably would never have lived where they lived. Kalayla wouldn't have been at the same gym as her cousin. Kalayla's biological grandfather wouldn't have seen her there and began the reconciliation process. Reconciliation may have come about another way, but I think it would have taken longer, not happened sooner.
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Post by Nkoo »

Had Jamal lived and reconciled with Maureen, in my opinion, it wouldn't have made any difference. I think Maureen's parents' attitude would not have been any different which would have generated more pressure.
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Post by Kenesha Latoya Fowler »

Catie139 wrote: 01 Sep 2020, 09:56 Kalayla's issues were definitely impacted by racism, but also by the fact that her father had died. How do you think the story would have been different had Jamal lived? Could reconciliation between the family have happened earlier?
No, I don't think the reconciliation would have come soon had Jamal lived. It was obvious that he was upset about Maureen keeping her family a secret from Kalayla, yet he didn't really press her on it. And I don't remember reading about him encouraging Maureen to reconnect with her family. In fact, I think his death actually contributed to the reconciliation happening when it did.
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