How early does it start?

Use this forum to discuss the August 2020 Book of the month, " Natural Relief for Anxiety and Stress: A Practical Guide" by Gustavo Kinrys, MD.
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Lisa A Rayburn
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How early does it start?

Post by Lisa A Rayburn »

I think we are taught from early childhood to internalize our psychological difficulties and anxieties. Phrases such as "Oh, you're just a born worrier." heard from family, dismisses the child's anxiety as overreaction. Thus, this teaches children that being worried or anxious is supposed to be no big deal, and talking about it brings scorn (or dismissiveness at the very least), so they learn to keep it to themselves...increasing stress steadily. How does/would this play into what the author has to say about relieving our stress as adults? Are these also practices that could help children?
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Post by Nerea »

Good question. I think the practices can also help children because it's at a tender age that one starts to learn things that will help them make better decisions as they grow to become adults. Notice this proverb that says; "Train a boy/child in the way he should go; Even when he grows old he will not depart from it." So the practices can help the children as well. Anxiety or stress does not respect age.
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

I'd say the way you relay a message determines how your audience receives it. As children, we may have listened to words of assurance or dismissal. But how we responded to those words was determined by the tone used and in which situation. The remedies given can be used by parents to help their children, they are not limited to age but to an individual's condition and its severity.
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Post by LuciusM »

As people grow, ideas and philosophies that had been instilled in them start to reflect on a reality perspective. Though they still remember what they were told, the magnitude of what they encounter forces them to act differently.
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Post by Lisa A Rayburn »

Nerea wrote:
> Good question. I think the practices can also help children because it's at
> a tender age that one starts to learn things that will help them make
> better decisions as they grow to become adults. Notice this proverb that
> says; "Train a boy/child in the way he should go; Even when he grows
> old he will not depart from it." So the practices can help the
> children as well. Anxiety or stress does not respect age.

I love the way you put that - "Anxiety or stress does not respect age." Too true. We wish a stress-free life for our children so hard that we sometimes convince ourselves it is true. Unfortunately, in most cases, it isn't. The parent the the 'first line of defense,' so to speak in teaching children how to handle stress and anxiety. That in and of itself will help ensure that they know how to make better decisions. Without guidance in life, children tend to flounder, and that is equally true of poor guidance in handling stress and anxiety. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!
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Post by joenduga12 »

To me children have ways to relief their anxieties supposedly different from the ways adults do. These greatly depends on the facts that their level of anxieties and worries are lower, as well as their basis for having them. By and large, what they need from their parent or guidance is an assurance and never a dismissal.
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Post by Lilyflower-x2 »

Nerea wrote:
> Good question. I think the practices can also help children because it's at
> a tender age that one starts to learn things that will help them make
> better decisions as they grow to become adults. Notice this proverb that
> says; "Train a boy/child in the way he should go; Even when he grows
> old he will not depart from it." So the practices can help the
> children as well. Anxiety or stress does not respect age.


I agree Nerea. Let children learn how to relieve stress while still young. The practices taught will become a way of life as they grow.
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Post by Lilyflower-x2 »

Kelyn wrote:
> I think we are taught from early childhood to internalize our psychological
> difficulties and anxieties. Phrases such as "Oh, you're just a born
> worrier." heard from family, dismisses the child's anxiety as
> overreaction. Thus, this teaches children that being worried or anxious is
> supposed to be no big deal, and talking about it brings scorn (or
> dismissiveness at the very least), so they learn to keep it to
> themselves...increasing stress steadily. How does/would this play into
> what the author has to say about relieving our stress as adults? Are these
> also practices that could help children?

It is indeed unfortunate that parents/guardians are at times part of the problem. By not listening and dealing with the child's anxieties, the child learns to hold it in. The anxieties are not trivil to a child and they should be taught how to deal with them.
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Post by Alice Ngugi »

My mum never encouraged us to talk about our fears. She would reprimand us for looking sad and would tell us that we are children and do not or should not have anything to worry about. As I grew older I realized it affects the way I talk about how I feel. It took me a while to get to a place of 'vulnerability' to talk about my anxieties. It starts at the very age we start experiencing all the different emotions.
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Post by adiawayman »

Growing up, my parents were very much against showing signs of distress and it created a lot of emotional problems in my siblings and me. I think teaching a child how to express anxiety, depression, anger etc. in a healthy way and to learn how to cope with those feelings is much healthier. Not only that, it sets them up for success as an adult where stress becomes an everyday thing.
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Post by Tochukwu Godson »

From my personal experiences, I've not dealt with anxiety by being passive about it. Secondly, I feel the way we handle this situation differs from individuals. For me, I manage stress, anxiety, and worry by confiding to my closest ally.
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

joenduga12 wrote:
> To me children have ways to relief their anxieties supposedly different
> from the ways adults do. These greatly depends on the facts that their
> level of anxieties and worries are lower, as well as their basis for having
> them. By and large, what they need from their parent or guidance is an
> assurance and never a dismissal.

I disagree, children are not old enough to discern stress and anxiety. Parents have a role to guide and take their kids to a doctor when they realize they have a problem. If children will only receive assurance from their parents, they may end up growing without the moral mettle required to face the real world out there. Dismissal, or in a better word, correction, is granted for actions or behaviors that parents deem wrong.
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Post by Kola+wole »

The practices can definitely help children. Having understanding guide will lower stress and anxiety levels.
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Post by Elvis Best »

Yes I beleive the practices can help children. In this modern world of social media, even kids are not protected from the external pressures of the world anymore. However, I believe the book and practices would have to be tweaked to meet the level of kids.
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Post by Vine Michael »

That's a nice question. I definitely think that we learn to bottle up things from our childhood. The remedies in this book can be used by both parents and children.
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