3 out of 4 stars
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I am beautiful, and I am enough. I find myself wishing this mantra upon the world after finishing Ultra Blue by L.M. du Preez. I’ve also lingered at length on its dedication to “all the young women and men who don’t have (anyone) to support them and remind them that they’re strong.” A story of youth, violence, self-loathing, fear, and confusion, this book highlights the negativity we all seek to bury and, for me, sadly mirrors those I know who harbor the same emotions found in its pages.
Du Preez’s tale surrounds an eighteen-year-old beauty whose self-esteem ran away when she was raped three years before the events of the story. Sidonie embodies the small, shrunken self each person carries within, but she has let self-depreciation convince her that the much older, increasingly dangerous motor club president is her veritable Prince Charming. It is undoubtedly one thing to tangle with someone who treats others poorly, but in the case of Sidonie, her “bad boy” beau exhibits cruelty that knows no bounds.
In this tale of alternate romance, we see the young heroine struggle to find inner beauty while continually allowing others to determine her worth. One of the things I liked most about the book was the relatability and sadly authentic Sidonie character. She is young (too young) and striving to build a fairytale love out of an abusive relationship. Her thoughts belie the truth of her emotional immaturity, and although I wanted to hate her, I found myself sending positive affirmations through the pages. Against my better judgment, I was cheering for her. Readers watch as the boyfriend controls, manipulates, and abuses her. As the book progresses, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel—a way out. After the way was presented, though, I was surprised by the book’s ending. Readers who enjoy realistic dramas and emotional turmoil will enjoy this book and its conclusion.
For the believability of Sidonie’s personage and the intense, fast pace of the book, I am rating Ultra Blue 3 out of 4 stars. Kudos to the author for making me love an unlovable character, but I wish more time had been spent developing the antagonist boyfriend. There was little backstory to explain his actions and demeanor, and I think the addition of such would have heightened the drama in the relationship. I also felt jarred when the author introduced a point of view change more than halfway through the book. I didn’t appreciate the depth of that decision until the end, and perhaps a more meaningful transition would have bettered its immediate impact.
I particularly enjoyed when du Preez compared Sidonie’s underlying fear with the inability to relax during a dental procedure even though the tooth has already been anesthetized. I will use this same comparison to describe my experience reading this book; I was continually waiting for something terrible to happen. Aside from the few dislikes I mentioned above (which didn't truly hinder the book's likability), and the need for a more experienced editor (think missing commas and words), Ultra Blue is an exciting and eye-opening look into the mind and choices of a person who has been made to feel insignificant.
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Ultra Blue
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