The author's approach to life?

Use this forum to discuss the July 2019 Book of the month, "Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream" by Dr Frank L Douglas.
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essyallan7475
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Re: The author's approach to life?

Post by essyallan7475 »

No one can reject their chilldhood. We learn from it and it can makes a person for the future. It teaches us not to make the same mistske with our kids
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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn »

Miercoles wrote: 10 Aug 2019, 20:05 Childhood experiences always have some impact on your adult life. For some persons it becomes a reiteration of the negatives, but for others, like the author, it gives impetus to a desire to do and to be better.
True. I wish there were a way to make it turn out that way for every individual who experienced an unfortunate or painful childhood/past. Maybe one day we will discover such a method. Thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts!
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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn »

Lady-of-Literature wrote: 11 Aug 2019, 13:50 I agree with what you said on the part where it seems unlikely to completely reject your upbringing. It is a major part of your foundation and while it's possible to remove that foundation in place of another one, the lessons learned from the previous one will always remain. A combination of both is likely, I think.
Thank you so much for that affirmation!! I agree that while it is possible to 'substitute' one foundation for another, however unlikely, one's past can never be entirely erased. Thanks for stopping in and commenting!
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Post by Readerjorge »

Doctor Douglas always remained focused on what he wanted to achieve and despite the cultural shock when he arrived in the United States and racism and discrimination he was not demotivated, but on the contrary he did not lose the desire to fight and improve and stood firm in his goals, certainly a worthy example to follow and an inspiring story.
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Post by Atharva Joshi »

I loved that the author's childhood, regardless of how cruel it was, shaped him to be the man he is today. It was interesting to see that even if your past breaks you you can 'rise' from it. He learned from his past but also forced his way out of the harsh conditions.
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Kelyn wrote: 19 Jul 2019, 22:16 I read somewhere once that a person reacts in one of two ways to their childhood. You either embrace it and learn from it or you reject it and live your life in a way that will ensure you (and your future family) never return to that state of living again. In my opinion, the author seems to have managed to do both. He definitely learned from his childhood experiences in that it helped him develop both determination and an intense desire to succeed; but he also 'rose through the ranks', so to speak, in a way that ensured that his family (wife and children) never experienced anything even remotely like the deprivation he experienced in childhood. In my own experience, it's almost impossible to totally reject one's upbringing, even if it held unfortunate or even adverse experiences. Based on what you read of the author's life, which do you think he did? Or was it a combination of both?
The author definitely did the best by embrace his childhood experience and worked towards the betterment of his family.
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Post by Samantha Simoneau »

I think you're right, and it was a combination of both. This was interesting to me because my parents each represent one of those approaches to their own childhoods. Anyway, I agree with you about the author's case.
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“But upon the stage of life, while conscience claps, let the world hiss! On the contrary if conscience disapproves, the loudest applauses of the world are of little value."
~John Adams :greetings-clapyellow:
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Post by Kelyn »

Readerjorge wrote: 14 Aug 2019, 09:33 Doctor Douglas always remained focused on what he wanted to achieve and despite the cultural shock when he arrived in the United States and racism and discrimination he was not demotivated, but on the contrary he did not lose the desire to fight and improve and stood firm in his goals, certainly a worthy example to follow and an inspiring story.
Atharva Joshi wrote: 15 Aug 2019, 05:23 I loved that the author's childhood, regardless of how cruel it was, shaped him to be the man he is today. It was interesting to see that even if your past breaks you you can 'rise' from it. He learned from his past but also forced his way out of the harsh conditions.
Many in the forum, including myself, have noted that the author seemed to embrace his childhood in that, in your words Readerjorge, it helped him "remain focused on what he wanted to achieve" and, Athvera, that it "shaped him to be the man he is today." Even so, he rejected it in that he fought his way out of those conditions to do better for his family. To say that it was a difficult task is an understatement and an inspirational story. Thank you both for stopping in and commenting!
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Post by Aubrey Lewis »

Well, I definitely agree that the author did a good job doing both. While I know I cannot ever forget how I was brought up, I still accept that it happened, and perhaps if it didn't, I wouldn't be the person I am today. However, I would also never treat my future family that way, since I have learned from my past.
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Post by FREDFDK »

Kelyn wrote: 19 Jul 2019, 22:16 I read somewhere once that a person reacts in one of two ways to their childhood. You either embrace it and learn from it or you reject it and live your life in a way that will ensure you (and your future family) never return to that state of living again. In my opinion, the author seems to have managed to do both. He definitely learned from his childhood experiences in that it helped him develop both determination and an intense desire to succeed; but he also 'rose through the ranks', so to speak, in a way that ensured that his family (wife and children) never experienced anything even remotely like the deprivation he experienced in childhood. In my own experience, it's almost impossible to totally reject one's upbringing, even if it held unfortunate or even adverse experiences. Based on what you read of the author's life, which do you think he did? Or was it a combination of both?

I read an interesting book recently and I learned that, during our childhood we are able to access our unconscious mind very easily. That is why we learn faster as children. Things that we keep in our unconscious mind becomes more or less our habits. We do such things without even knowing. Therefore, the author's experience as a child definitely impacted his life. His experience also challenge him to make sure his family never experience such a thing. Moreover, his struggles as a child made him a fighter and a hard worker. Hence I agree that is a combination of both!
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Post by Redargen120 »

I agree that one cannot completely reject their upbringing. Childhood and youth shapes us into who we are and determines how we think. Even if a person makes the decision to live differently/raise their family differently, they are making choices based on personal experiences that are a fundamental part of them.

I think we all should strive to find the balance between to two, and I agree that the author combined both to improve and fight.
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Post by KojoGH »

I believe that our childhood always have an impact on who we becomes in future..In this case the author went through some ordeals which challenged him. He does not want his children to experience such things so he work hard to ensure that. He also made sure he and his family his does not inculcated attitudes and behaviour of people that surounded him. So he also avoided the practice in a way. Therefore I agree with you! It's a bit of both.
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Post by shravsi »

It is a combination of both. He turned the negative experiences into a positive way for his children. He also came in terms with his family for his childhood trauma. They were doing may not be the greatest help but the best they could, in their position.
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Post by Kelyn »

Aubrey Lewis wrote: 18 Aug 2019, 05:31 Well, I definitely agree that the author did a good job doing both. While I know I cannot ever forget how I was brought up, I still accept that it happened, and perhaps if it didn't, I wouldn't be the person I am today. However, I would also never treat my future family that way, since I have learned from my past.
Redargen120 wrote: 24 Aug 2019, 11:25 I agree that one cannot completely reject their upbringing. Childhood and youth shapes us into who we are and determines how we think. Even if a person makes the decision to live differently/raise their family differently, they are making choices based on personal experiences that are a fundamental part of them.

I think we all should strive to find the balance between to two, and I agree that the author combined both to improve and fight.
KojoGH wrote: 25 Aug 2019, 03:52 I believe that our childhood always have an impact on who we becomes in future..In this case the author went through some ordeals which challenged him. He does not want his children to experience such things so he work hard to ensure that. He also made sure he and his family his does not inculcated attitudes and behaviour of people that surounded him. So he also avoided the practice in a way. Therefore I agree with you! It's a bit of both.
shravsi wrote: 26 Aug 2019, 00:48 It is a combination of both. He turned the negative experiences into a positive way for his children. He also came in terms with his family for his childhood trauma. They were doing may not be the greatest help but the best they could, in their position.
True in every sense of the word. For better or worse, our pasts shape who we have become, but they do not have to construct our present reality in any way other than that. Finding that 'balance' between past and present is key and as difficult/traumatic as a childhood may have been, the cycle can be broken. Shravsi, I agree in many ways that they were doing the best they could with what they had, but some of their actions (e.g., His mother beating him at the sayso of his aunt) could have been avoided. Thanks to you all for stopping in and commenting!
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Post by Kelyn »

FREDFDK wrote: 18 Aug 2019, 13:37 I read an interesting book recently and I learned that, during our childhood we are able to access our unconscious mind very easily. That is why we learn faster as children. Things that we keep in our unconscious mind becomes more or less our habits. We do such things without even knowing. Therefore, the author's experience as a child definitely impacted his life. His experience also challenge him to make sure his family never experience such a thing. Moreover, his struggles as a child made him a fighter and a hard worker. Hence I agree that is a combination of both!
I've read similar things related to children's early learning. It's one reason they're able to learn foreign languages better and more quickly when they are small than they can in High School when the classes (in the US) are typically offered. And also one reason that habits they learn early, like thumb-sucking, are so tough to break. The author's early life certainly was a challenge to endure and inspired him to keep his future family as far from those types of experiences as possible. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us!
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