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Discuss the July 2017 Book of the Month, My Trip to Adele by A.I.Alyaseer and R.I.Alyaseer.

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gali
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Post by gali »

We have two set of relationships in this book. On one hand, we have Nadia who believes that one should not stay in an abusing relationship for the sake of the kids. Do not mistake, though, she loves her son more than life itself and would do anything to make him happy. On the other hand, we have Yaser who is just the opposite of her. He sacrifices his honor and stays in an unfulfilling marriage for his children's sake. I support Nadia's view. Which side are you? How would you act?
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Post by masterhawk88 »

Both actually. I'd never stand for abuse, but on the other hand, for my kids I think I'd try to make an unfulfilling relationship work.
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Post by AliceofX »

I think their situations are too different to compare because abuse is not the same as neglect. That said I'd probably say Yaser's side. My parents split up when I was about 10 or 11, and there are just no words to explain the pain that comes from a broken home.

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Post by Naval Aulakh »

I agree with you. A person should not be in a abusive relationship because that is gonna harm the innocence of kids. Also, a person cannot raise kids in a healthy environment being in an unhealthy relationship.
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Post by MarisaRose »

This is a great question! I really agree with you though, I was so proud of Nadia for standing up for herself and wanting a better life.
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Post by micoleon13 »

I was very much on Nadia's side and she was in such a difficult situation. I thought it was good of the authors' to broach this subject, bringing to light how in some countries women have very little say and need the man of the family to give permission.

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Post by Shreyoshi Sen »

I am unable to compare between the two situations. Maybe because I am not yet married. But an abusive relationship is a big no for me. Unfulfilling marriages can be improved with some effort I guess.
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Post by ULLAVU »

As long as you started a relationship to the extend of having children, its better to withstand the abusive relation for the sake of children and try to mend it for the better future

-- 02 Jul 2017, 07:46 --

No matter how bad things are, you've got what it takes to make it better. You are smarter, stronger and healthier than you realize. Believe in yourself, and never ever give up on you! Both for your sake and that of a child you have to withstand an abusive relationship,

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Post by Lest92 »

I would not stand for an abusive/unfulfilling relationship either, and if I had children, I'd take them with me. No child can thrive in a tense household.

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Post by gali »

ULLAVU wrote:As long as you started a relationship to the extend of having children, its better to withstand the abusive relation for the sake of children and try to mend it for the better future

-- 02 Jul 2017, 07:46 --

No matter how bad things are, you've got what it takes to make it better. You are smarter, stronger and healthier than you realize. Believe in yourself, and never ever give up on you! Both for your sake and that of a child you have to withstand an abusive relationship,
I don't think one should withstand the abusive relationship for the sake of the kids. It isn't healthy for the kids to see his parent abused by the other spouse.
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Post by Riki »

The relationships presented are just a bit too different for an accurate comparison. One is abusive while the other is unfulfilling. In the case of spousal abuse, staying with the abuser is harmful to everyone involved. Now, therapy or counseling could help, but separation is usually the best route. And if a marriage is no longer happy, separation is probably the best as well.
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Post by Jaime Lync »

I have to agree with Ricki that it is hard to actually compare both relationships but I think it is important to give it 200% to make a marriage work, especially when children are involved. In Nadia's case, her husband abused her both physically and emotionally - that is a no, no and I totally agree with her choice to divorce him.

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Post by godreaujea »

I think that if a relationship is unhealthy in any manner, it should be ended, especially if children are involved. Children are extremely impressionable, and they should not be raised to believe that being abused, or simply unhappy, in a relationship is normal or acceptable.

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Post by DennisK »

Mariam wasn't a monster like Nadia's “X”. Mariam was simply a regimented strong minded person. That can change which seemed to be the case in Yaser and Mariam's final chapter. Both Nadia and Yaser struggled with freedom and control issues. In this story, I believe both of them found compromises in their search for what they defined as freedom.

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Post by Gravy »

I have to say that, sometimes, a broken home would be better for the kids. When the alternative is having unhappy and abusive parents, having one good, happy, loving parent would be my choice.
AliceofX wrote:I think their situations are too different to compare because abuse is not the same as neglect. That said I'd probably say Yaser's side. My parents split up when I was about 10 or 11, and there are just no words to explain the pain that comes from a broken home.
I agree, the two are completely seperate.

I'm sorry you went through that. :(
There are losses we don't move past, no matter how hard we try. Some wounds, once inflicted, bleed forever underneath the skin. All we can do is learn to live with them.

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