Could you date someone who doesn't read?

[P0tt3ry]

Dating a non-reader wouldn't be an issue as long as they shared other areas of interest with me. I don't think I could be in a long term relationship with someone who didn't read. The quiet time me and my partner spend reading together is great; even though we don't always share the same taste.

[sarah92480]

I could, and currently am in a relationship with a non-reader. I admit, it would be nice at times to be able to discuss books together, but that's such a minor part of the relationship. On the occasion he does read something, it's generally non-fiction, and I'm pretty strictly a fiction reader anyway. It works for us, we have enough other things in common that it's no big deal to not have this hobby in common too.

[EWatson02]

I am currently dating someone who is a non-reader. We've been together for nearly ten years, so something must be working out. My boyfriend, while he appreciates my own reading hobby (he was very impressed that a lot of my house decor includes shelves of books), does not read much himself if just because he didn't grow up with it. Part of this, I realize, may in fact have to do with class privilege: I grew up upper middle-class, with a scientist father and librarian mother, in a relatively large city, so I had plenty of opportunities to read. My boyfriend, on the other hand, grew up in more of a lower middle-class, blue collar background, in a more rural area. His parents were not readers themselves and didn't keep very many books in the house.

This is a bit of a point of frustration for him, actually. He would like to get into reading, but he himself has trouble concentrating on it, and when he does read it is a slow and laborious process for him. (He doesn't, as far as I can tell, have any learning disabilities like dyslexia. He just doesn't have a lot of reading experience.) However, we have found that reading books aloud together helps him get into it more--we did this very thing with the Harry Potter series, in fact. He has also read The Hobbit and Game of Thrones, which, while not the most difficult reads in the world, are not necessarily for beginners, either.

His not reading does not detract from our relationship at all. I read books, he plays video games, we both have cats who sit on our laps, and life goes on.

[Sweetie_banana]

I actually did and it never worked out!!!
What a shock on me!!!! They complained how am always on my book I should date the book instead!!!

[Taniatt]

Each one has their on hobby... I would consider dating such a person if mine and other person have common topics other than reading...

[re_sa_me]

I've dated someone who doesn't read before. Trust me, it wasn't the best experience. He was a wonderful person and we got along just fine until it got really annoying. I didn't notice he didn't read much till much later in the relationship. Every time I tried to start an intelligent conversation, he would have nothing to contribute. I noticed his spellings much later too. They were really bad. It was quiet easy to mask these things because he could speak English well enough, at least the basics, and mask his whole disinterest in reading with work or being too busy. Worst of all, he wasn't even interested in it. He'd say the pages were too many and there were no pictures. At his age, he was looking for books with pictures!!! Aaargh! I had had it! Two years down the line, I couldn't take it anymore. I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I couldn't raise a baby that big. No thanks. His disinterest in reading began to rub off on me slowly. I read much less often because all he wanted to do was hangout. It was quite a toxic relationship. I had to get out!!!!
People who don't read will not be interested in important things. They will have little or nothing to contribute in fixing our world, not because they weren't born with the ability to be creative or to accomplish, but because they have deliberately deprived themselves of the regular dose of knowledge needed to take them to the top. It is really important that we surround ourselves with people who are oozing with knowledge and wisdom so we can seap it in and ooze some ourselves.

[vlboyd53]

After my husband died in 2009, I began trying to date again. Near the top of my list of "must haves" was "Must love to read." Not only did I want someone who reads regularly, I needed them to enjoy Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror. At age 60+, I finally have the time to write, and I am, in those genra.

Because I am a widow, disabled, and poor, I sought dates through Craigslist. What a zoo! Most of the replies were either incomplete sentences, or simply a picture of some guy's erect member. Yech! I persisted, until in 2016 I started dating another reader, who is also writing. We love the same types of books.

The odds of a woman my age finding a second partner are astronomical. I actually had a better chance of winning the lottery. I am living with my new partner now, and we are building a library together. This is definitely one for the books!

[rejtastic81]

That's a good question. We all have that standard for a perfect companion, and I think that even if we say "we don't" -well, we do. And this is one of the cases where we tend to have these kind of standards. Now to answer the question, I believe that I can date someone who doesn't read books -at all! Sounds really scary though, but I think, if we were to push the relationship further, I'll ask him to read St. Exupery's "The Little Prince". Then the Lady Chatterly's Lover for some spice and, the diary of a wimpy kid, if he gets bored.

For me, reading is food for the soul... so I might be asking him, "what do you feed your soul?" while hoping he won't choke me or something. Anyway, love has no standards... that's what most classic novels taught me.

[rejtastic81]

After my husband died in 2009, I began trying to date again. Near the top of my list of "must haves" was "Must love to read." Not only did I want someone who reads regularly, I needed them to enjoy Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror. At age 60+, I finally have the time to write, and I am, in those genra.

Because I am a widow, disabled, and poor, I sought dates through Craigslist. What a zoo! Most of the replies were either incomplete sentences, or simply a picture of some guy's erect member. Yech! I persisted, until in 2016 I started dating another reader, who is also writing. We love the same types of books.

The odds of a woman my age finding a second partner are astronomical. I actually had a better chance of winning the lottery. I am living with my new partner now, and we are building a library together. This is definitely one for the books!

That's really awesome!!! I wish I can find a guy who'd build a library with me <3 I really wanted a library of my own though!

[brunettebiblio]

My husband didn't read a lot when we first met, but I've turned him into almost a more voracious reader than me! Granted we don't have the same tastes, but I'm just glad he's enjoying himself. I think even if he never crossed over to the dark side we would still be fine...he would probably just watch TV while I read which wouldn't bother me at all!

[vlboyd53]

Just never settle for someone who is less than exactly what you are looking for. I'm not talking physical appearance or wealth or status, but intelligence, kindness, honesty and true deep friendship. There is the right someone out there for you.

[Amystl26]

Reading for me is a hobby that I love to endulge. Not everyone has a passion for reading nor the patience. For me, I truly enjoy getting lost in the pages of a good book. You could also expand the question forward to apply to readers: Could I date someone who did not enjoy the same books as I do?

Hopefully a reader and non reader can exist in this world and perhaps the reader, being excited about a wonderful book can turn a non reader onto something new.

I agree..."... being excited about a wonderful book can turn a non-reader onto something new." So true!
I've always felt the ones who dislike reading just have yet to pick up a good book!

[Amystl26]

I've always considered dating a guy who read to be a fantasy. I only meet a few who do read for pleasure, and they don't turn out to be the people that I have chemistry with. So to all of you who can't imagine any other way... I am jealous.

I never thought I could find a guy whom loves reading as much as me... but I DID! I figured it would be something I did on my own, or if I had a spare moment, and now five years later: not only do I have a boyfriend whom loves books as much as I do, but we even make it a point to go on reading dates--in fact, they're our favorite kind of dates! Those men do exist! You wrote this post a long time ago, so maybe you're reading with him now!

[Amystl26]

After my husband died in 2009, I began trying to date again. Near the top of my list of "must haves" was "Must love to read." Not only did I want someone who reads regularly, I needed them to enjoy Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror. At age 60+, I finally have the time to write, and I am, in those genra.

Because I am a widow, disabled, and poor, I sought dates through Craigslist. What a zoo! Most of the replies were either incomplete sentences, or simply a picture of some guy's erect member. Yech! I persisted, until in 2016 I started dating another reader, who is also writing. We love the same types of books.

The odds of a woman my age finding a second partner are astronomical. I actually had a better chance of winning the lottery. I am living with my new partner now, and we are building a library together. This is definitely one for the books!

That's really awesome!!! I wish I can find a guy who'd build a library with me <3 I really wanted a library of my own though!

Aww! I love this story---HOORAY!! And building a library?!! I'm jealous...
Hopefully we get to review one of your books on the site! Good luck to you both!

[Amystl26]

I actually did and it never worked out!!!
What a shock on me!!!! They complained how am always on my book I should date the book instead!!!

Haha, I've had the same experience! He would get irritated by my continuous reading habits! Alas, it did not work out. Shocker...